Jul 30, 2004

Travesty

This is a travesty. The Powerpuff Girls are not supposed to dream about "growing up into cool, confident teenagers with a powerful style all their own!" No. And what is this crap about a PPG model search for girls between the ages of six and 18? Did nobody listen to Craig McCracken when he said, "People have asked if we’re ever going to do a live-action Powerpuff, but I wouldn’t want to, because then you’re defining them — they’ll have fingers and they’ll have noses and they’ll be real little girls and it just won’t be the same. But as cartoons they’re kind of this symbolic catchall." Obviously not. Isn't part of the joy of having animated characters rather than real characters the fact that they can stay the same age forever? The Powerpuff Girls are cute, they're little, they kick ass. I don't want to see big-headed, bug-eyed teenage Powerpuff Grrls. Changes the whole dynamic. Why does no one consult me about these decisions?

Baseball Is Icky.

Okay, so this was posted on Fleshbot on Wednesday, but it's still ass funny. (Hah! Ass funny. Indeed.)

Jul 29, 2004

Come On, Man, It Wasn't That Bad.

Okay, so, as per my previous post, drinkable doughnuts just aren't a good idea. But I think this guy might have exaggerated his revulsion just a bit.

Jul 28, 2004

Work Sucks

Yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm swamped. I haven't even read the news in days, much less mustered some thought to post here.

Jul 26, 2004

Jul 23, 2004

You Know You Want It

Someone's selling K.I.T.T. on eBay. Some of you are drooling, aren't you?

Jul 22, 2004

Mmm, Doughnuts . . .

I think I just came. Krispy Kreme has introduced doughnut-flavored drinks.

Evidently, their stock has fallen more than 45% this year-- how sad! (No, seriously, that makes me sad.) I think I'll have to go buy some Krispy Kremes to help them out. I'm entitled. I've been exercising.

Update: I did indeed go to a Krispy Kreme, where I bought a dozen doughnuts and the original glaze flavor drink. Tasted like cold liquid buttercream. Not a favorite. Am still a staunch advocate of the doughnuts, though.

Jul 21, 2004

Useful Gadgets

So this is awesomely convenient. I guess a lot of other people think so, too, since it's already sold out. But I shall keep checking.

Jul 20, 2004

Someone Else's Flashback

Why does the song Runaway Train always make me feel like I should be on drugs? It came out when I was 11 or 12 and still quite well-behaved. I feel like I'm co-opting somebody else's memories.

Hostages and Confusion

While I was thrilled to hear that the Iraqi militants released their most recent hostage, I'm not sure I'm so happy that the Philippine government removed their troops from Iraq. That the government bowed to pressure seems like it might encourage further hostage-taking. I just don't know what to think of this situation.

Jul 19, 2004

Useless Gadgets

For those who want total sensory overload every time they watch a movie, here you go.

Jul 16, 2004

Martha My Dear

Martha Stewart was sentenced today and, for all I've kvetched about her and her obnoxious uber-perfectionism in the past, I feel sorry for her. It's not right that she has to go to jail for something fairly minor, whereas Enron execs get off with a slap on the wrist and the bastards at WorldCom are awarded a government contract in Afghanistan.

What Not to Name Your Drink

Hmm. MooLatte sounds like mulatto. True. Good point, Timothy Noah. And I had only objected to it on the grounds that it's a stupid name for a coffee drink.

Jul 15, 2004

The Gayest of Toys

Now you too can play with your very own lesbian! Thanks, NewYorkish.

And let's not forget that perennial favorite, Billy (and his friends Carlos and Tyson, of course).

Oh, Sacha Baron Cohen, I Think I Love You.

There's a pretty decent interview with Sacha Baron Cohen, the creator of Da Ali G Show in the Times today. However, I'm less inclined to agree with the lavish praise the show is getting. Maybe I need to watch another couple of episodes, but I wasn't terribly impressed by the bits I've already seen. Too bad, really, because the British version of the show is freaking hysterical, innit?

Update: Go here to watch Ali G's speech at the 2004 Harvard commencement ceremony. (Forward to 1:27:34.) Lucky Harvard bastards. We only got George Stephanopoulos for our graduation.

Jul 13, 2004

The Porsche of Sex Dolls

This site is totally bizarre (and not at all safe for work). I can't decide if it's sick and twisted, or just really, really weird, though not harmful. I guess it's okay if you can socialize like a normal human being and happen to have a spare $5000 with which to buy a lifelike sex doll. I see it as a problem for the hardcore Trekkies or Dungeons & Dragons nerds who, after maxing out their credit cards for such dolls, may never feel the need to learn to relate to real chicks.

Seriously, though, check out the site. It's strangely compelling.

No Moore

Pete Townshend told off Michael Moore. Good.

The Trial

Thus the trial begins: we're expecting our very first FreshDirect delivery tomorrow evening.

Jul 12, 2004

More Unnecessary Musicals

Okay, where was I when they announced that Billy Elliott was going to be made into a musical? (With Elton John providing the songs, no less!) Didn't the musical version of The Full Monty teach us anything? I have a sinking feeling that this will be just one more example of a perfectly good movie being turned into a perfectly dreadful musical.

Jul 9, 2004

Let's All Heave a Sigh of Relief.

Thank god, the website I linked to in my earlier post is a hoax. Now we can all enjoy the twisted humor of the faux site of a 37-year old Hermione Granger-obsessed fan without fearing for the safety of children the world over. Thanks to Jeremy for pointing me to this illuminating article.

In Praise of Donald Murray

This column made me profoundly sad. I've been reading Donald Murray's columns intermittently for years and really enjoy his writing. He very seldom discusses big, important, newsy topics; rather, his colums are very personal, heartfelt, and truly make you feel like you're getting to know both Murray and his wife, Minnie Mae. The column I've linked to is sad, but well written (and, I might mention as further motivation for reading it, short.)

Jul 8, 2004

Craving a Family Guy Fix

I can't wait for the new season of Family Guy. Sadly, that won't premiere on Fox until some time next year so, for the time being, I must content myself with reading articles like this one. And you can bet your little booties that I'm going to watch American Dad. (Unless it sucks. But I won't know if it sucks until I see it, right?)

Jul 7, 2004

Dirty Thoughts of the Day

According to Engrish, this is what should be on all our minds.

In a slightly related thought, two years ago, when I spent several months in London, I mandated a Halloween party (as is my custom). In the process of making my costume, I fashioned a bra-like attachment to the bodice that my friends kept referring to as the "tit bits." If only I had known that I could simply buy that part of the costume here.

Jul 6, 2004

And You Thought the Olsen Twins Countdown Was Freaky.

Okay, it's not pc to fantasize about Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter films, but go ahead. I know she's only 14, but she looked older in the last film. So you're allowed to fantasize, but only about Hermione in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. No younger than that. You don't want to turn into this sad fuck. (Thanks, NewYorkish.)

I'm Baack!

Yes, I have indeed returned from the wilds of Russia and Austria. It was fun but now my internal clock is totally fucked. You know it's bad when you're falling asleep at nine pm while watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, no less.

Am too tired to be witty right now. Will be witty later. Have lots of work piled up. Urg.

Jul 1, 2004

Russia Is a Sham

Suppose that you are in St. Petersburg and you'd like to visit the Catherine Palace in Pushkin. You pay to take a taxi to the train station, where you get on a train to Pushkin, which the guidebook says is the first stop (about 25 minutes), but is actually the eighth stop (about 45 minutes). As the buses from the station to the palace are too full, you take another taxi. You pay to enter the grounds, only to find out that you cannot enter the palace (for which you must buy another ticket) until 4 PM. It is then 1 PM. You contemplate strolling the gardens for three freaking hours, and decide that it's not worth the bother. You opt for cutting your losses and take another taxi, this time back to the train station. Fortunately, you should be able to catch a train in another ten minutes. It doesn't arrive for an hour and five minutes.

You suddenly understand why Russians drink.