Nov 30, 2004

Fucking A(merica)!

Apparently this song is from Team America but, as I have not yet seen the movie, it was entirely new to me. The video, however, is most definitely not from the film. Entertaining and rousing and shit, though. (No, I said rousing, not arousing.) Now, to combat this steroidal overdose of testosterone, I'm listening to Buddy Holly, who was hardly what one would call butch. (I didn't want to go to extremes and listen to emo-- I have no desire to be depressed by a bunch of skinny, whiny bedheaded manboys.)

Nov 29, 2004

Armed Cows

This is pretty funny, not to mention catchy. Almost makes me want to go veggie. But then I imagine a nice, juicy bacon cheeseburger and I promptly rescind such hippiefied thoughts. (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Thanksgiving Reminiscences

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving and all. I think I'm still enduring a tryptophan hangover.

Meanwhile, I thought I'd thought I'd share my favorite Thanksgiving memory with you: one year, at my grandparents' house, my grandfather was cooking dinner as usual. But, as often happens when one is simultaneously preparing many dishes in a small kitchen, he sort of ran out of space. So he disappeared into the bathroom and, a few minutes later, I overheard him saying, "Oh shit." He was straining the squash over the bathtub and, unfortunately, dropped the squash into the tub. Very few people ate the squash at that meal.

Nov 24, 2004

Stomach-Turning

Sweet jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. There exists turkey-and-gravy flavored soda. Ugh. I quite literally shuddered throughout the course of reading this article, in which five brave souls taste test the Jones Soda Holiday Pack. I hope they all have fantastic health insurance.

Dead Queen

This video (the first listed) is downright entertaining. Sure, I don't quite get the poodles. And I wish it were for the original Queen version of Radio Ga Ga rather than a cover, but whatever. It's funny nonetheless. Shake your booty, Freddie Mercury's ghost! (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Rudy's a Big Girl Now

Oh my god. Little Rudy Huxtable (aka Keshia Knight-Pulliam) is all grown up-- and scantily-clad. Surprisingly, she's hot, too. Thank goodness she grew out of that awkward preteen-with-a-slight-mustache phase. (Thanks, Defamer.)

Nov 23, 2004

Classic

This just makes me happy. It's so, well, purple.

Nov 22, 2004

Dragons for Jesus

This is one of the most bizarre sites I've come across in a long, long time. And there are some weirdos out in the ether. But this guy takes the cake. He's a born-again shifter, i.e. a Christian who thinks he's a dragon. Personally, I think any number of his problems can be explained in this little excerpt from his diatribe about why he hates fantasy and role-playing games:

1. I hate FRPG's because the people who play them irritate me. Most FRPG players are little snobs that won't let truly intelligent people like myself join their games. And if I do join their game, their characters snub mine because they are different. I get my character killed off because I made the mistake of looking different. That's why I accuse FRPG's of teaching racism.

So, basically, he's too wacked-out for even the D&D crowd. (Thanks, BoingBoing.)

Nov 19, 2004

Seeing Is Believing?

Damn, yo. Talk about false advertising! (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Bad Similes

According to Jennifer Steinhauer for the New York Times:

Mr. Bloomberg is convinced that this work will draw tourists from around the world, some of them public art buffs who traipse to works like turtle watchers to the Galápagos Islands.

Really? Like turtle watchers to the Galápagos Islands? What about like moths to a flame? Not obscure enough for you, Jennifer? What about like Trekkies to sci fi conventions? Not pretentious enough for you, Jennifer? A word of warning, Jennifer: crappy metaphors will land you squarely in Maureen Dowd-land. And nobody likes it there.

Okay, Okay, Fuck the South

So people keep showing me this site, and it is entertaining. Scarily apt, too. So, to borrow a quote from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, "Fuck them up their stupid asses." Nothing like class, man.

Nov 18, 2004

Timmy's Wish

I think the verdict is unanimous: this is so wrong. But sooo entertaining. I love the various Psycho references, especially the drain-into-teddy bear's-eye bit. (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Nov 17, 2004

I Think I'm a Geek

So I'm reading William Gibson's Count Zero, sequel to Neuromancer and prequel to Mona Lisa Overdrive, and I just realized a couple of things. In Hackers, the Jonny Lee Miller character went by the handle Zero Cool. The virus in the film is called the Da Vinci virus. (At the risk of sounding obvious, Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa.) And the corporation's mainframes are called Gibsons. (Yeah, well, that one's a giveaway.) Coincidences? I think not.

On a related note, I would love to see someone make Neuromancer into a film. It's such a spectactular book. But they'd probably ruin it, and audiences would think that it's a ripoff of The Matrix rather than a precursor.

The Grey Video

This is worth watching, if only to see Ringo scratching. Pretty well done, even even though it doesn't actually look like John's breakdancing.

Nov 16, 2004

Taking on the Times

Hm. There seem to be several things of interest in the Times today. First, I should like to ask what sort of crack the military is smoking:

Months ago, the Army said some of the former soldiers would be needed to play the French horn, the clarinet, the euphonium, the saxophone and the electric bass as part of the military's bands, but the notion drew criticism from members of Congress who questioned the need to order people to give up their civilian lives to play instruments. Colonel Hart said the Army has since filled the musician jobs with volunteers.

When the Army is shortstaffed as is, they need musicians? Not the first jobs I'd fill if it were up to me.

In other Timesian news, I'm glad I forwent the free tickets and skipped Eve Ensler's The Good Body. It sounds like The Vagina Monologues for stomachs.

And, finally, it looks like I have yet another reason to blame my parents.

Nov 15, 2004

Yup, Yup. Cereal's Awesome. Even the Times Says So.

Yesterday must have been a slow news day, because the Times featured an article about college students and their cereal-eating habits. Made me very hungry.

For the record, I should like to say that cereal's awesome: relatively cheap, portable, and delicious. My favorite is Lucky Charms, but I eat that dry. With milk I like Cap'n Crunch, Basic 4, and some crunchy healthy raspberry ginger organic cereal.

Nov 12, 2004

Unintentionally Funny Product Names Strike Again!

The company's anti-piracy offering comprises two technologies. The first, PirateEye, detects camcorders and pinhole cameras in the act of bootlegging movies, according to Trakstar.

Who named this product? Either someone totally clueless or with an overdeveloped sense of humor. Yet another entry in the field of poorly-named products like the MooLatte and Boo Bee. (Thanks, BoingBoing.)

Snark Value

Obviously, I haven't yet seen Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, so I can't comment on the quality (or lack thereof) of the film. My qualm with this review is that, about five paragraphs down, Dargis says, point blank, that she didn't like the book. In fact, she "couldn't stand" parts of it. So, what genius over at the Times decided that someone who disliked the book should review the film? I'm certainly not advocating that someone who was gung-ho, head-over-heels crazy about the book should have reviewed the movie, either; that's just as irresponsible. What I'm in favor of is giving the film a fighting chance. The Times review seemed composed entirely for snark value.

Nov 10, 2004

Am I Missing Something?

According to the New York Times: "Men want to sleep with Julia Roberts, but they want to marry Meg Ryan." What the fuck? Who wants to sleep with Julia "Mr. Ed" Roberts? Who wants to marry Meg "Bedhead" Ryan? Not I.

Click Your Heels Three Times . . .

Admit it-- we all want ruby slippers. Fine, if you won't admit it, I will. I want ruby slippers. I own a couple of pairs, though they're sadly nonmagical. This is a pretty solid site for pictures and info about the assorted slippers made for the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz. Some of the fan-made versions are rather impressive, too. Some of the pictures are simply drool-worthy. Yet another example of shoe porn.

I Thought Gay Men Were Supposed to Have Style

But this guy disproves it. At least he clearly has a sense of humor. Not to mention one of the most impressive collections of revoltingly ugly sweaters ever created. Eat your heart out, Dr. Huxtable. (Thanks, BoingBoing.)

Nov 9, 2004

Regression

Oooh! Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer is out on DVD! I want it, even while knowing that it's not going to be nearly as cool as I thought it was when I was five. I once had the most awesome dream, in which I was Rainbow Brite, complete with the magical color belt. It rocked. In case anyone's interested, this site is a pretty good source for Rainbow Brite-obilia. Though I cannot believe how freaking ugly the dolls were. I owned them and I didn't think they were that hideous.

Nov 8, 2004

When Cameramen Get Bored

Don't be dismayed-- this clip doesn't seem all that compelling at first, but trust me. It gets there.

I Have a New Passion

And it's this site. This was totally designed for tv junkies like me. (I should clarify-- I watch good tv, not just any old crap that's on. Preferably shows and movies that are at least two or three decades old.) Thanks, Afshin.

Nov 5, 2004

I Am Truly a Trendsetter

When I interned at the Film Society of Lincoln Center a few summers ago, one of the perks was that I got to watch all the New York Film Festival submissions that I wanted. And, even better, after the selections had been made, I was allowed to take home any of the films that didn't make the cut. I think the only two that I liked well enough to take home were this great Czech musical set in the late '60s called Rebelove (unfortunately, the tape's in PAL format and I haven't managed to get it converted to VHS yet), and this short film called Slo-Mo. Evidently I am not alone in my admiration of this quirky little short (which, incidentally, featured Katherine Moennig, who now stars on The L Word). Now they're turning it into a feature-length movie. I was so all over this one years ago.

Yay Boots!

Awesome. Boots products are coming to the US. I loved Boots when I was in London and desperately wish they'd open a few locations in the States. Preferably in New York. Ideally a block from my apartment. Yeah, that might be rather wishful thinking. But hey, an H&M just opened near me-- that's a start, right?

Nov 4, 2004

A Word of Warning (Illustrated Version)

This wouldn't be nearly as funny if the original picture weren't so fantastic. What a priceless expression. (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Also, note that it's a Columbia address. Shows you what's up with Columbians these days. Ya crazy kids. Back in my day we went to class and wrote papers. And ate lots of vodka jelly.

Ooh, This One's Embarrassing

The British tabloids are really the most entertaining pieces of crap. It's not necessarily that they get the facts wrong; the screaming, hyperventilating, caps-lock enthusiasm of the headlines just makes all news funny, regardless of how tragic the situation might be. Case in point. (Thanks, Gawker.)

Nov 3, 2004

Yeah Turducken

I know it's a little late for Halloween, but here's Homestar's take on the holiday.

Necessary Distractions

Ugh. I feel physically sullied. And I'm further convinced that New York City has no business being part of the rest of the US. What the hell do we have in common, anyway? Secession is sounding ever more attractive.

To keep you distracted and calm without resorting to heavy sedation, here is a funny (and nicely done) little cartoon for you. (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Nov 2, 2004

Full of Shat

I do apologize for all the random Shatner posts of late, but I am a latecomer to the wacky world of Shatland. This site is fairly amusing, primarily for its title. And the Kama Shatra, of course. (Thanks, Screenhead.)

Yeah, Well, Your Mom!

Watch Bush give the one-fingered victory salute. (He would call it something hokey like that, wouldn't he?)

Nov 1, 2004