Ripped from the Headlines (of Questionable Authority)

This morning I noticed a girl in the subway reading a newspaper that trumpeted PARIS' SECRET DIARIES across a picture of Paris Hilton. Personally, I think it's a sham. Or a scam. A shascam, if you will. I don't believe that she has diaries, secret or other. I don't believe she can write--except maybe text messages (txt msgs), which lack all those pesky vowels.