Dec 5, 2006

New in Awful Things: Names, Hair

Somehow I managed to miss this whole phenomenon of Ben Underwood, the blind kid who uses echolocation to get around. Pretty amazing, though. More power to him. Also, I bet he'll be spared when our dolphin overlords seize control.
But I really feel compelled to highlight a tidbit just glossed over in the related video: The kid's mother is named Aquanetta Gordon. Aquanetta. Like the hair spray, Aqua Net. I have since spent a chunk of the morning trawling the internet for evidence of when Aqua Net was invented. (I know it was de rigeur in the '80s, but I think it's been around for much longer.) Aquanetta Gordon is in her 40s, so if the hair spray was invented after the mid or late '60s, she's got a crappy name and that's it. If Aqua Net was invented any earlier, though, Netta's parents must have been vicious bastards.

This is related by the slimmest of threads (i.e, hair), but I had to share anyway. As I walked to work this morning, I noticed a man about a block ahead of me. He was wearing a cap with what I initially thought was a long, rectangular piece of fur or sheepskin hanging from the back of the cap. As I closed on him, I realized that the "fur" was in fact his hair. It had been matted into a solid, rectangular mass as long as a table runner. (Without exaggeration, I can attest that it hung below his ass.) It was like one giant, steroidal dreadlock. Ugh.

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