Dec 28, 2007

Christmastime Horrors

Am still on holiday vacay, hence the lack of posts. If you celebrate Christmas, I hope it was just lovely. Now prepare to claw out your eyes while simultaneously clutching your sides from laughter. Gah!

Dec 19, 2007

Green Gifts

I've always been a fan of saving the environment, and now the general populace seems to be catching on. (Thanks, Al Gore!) There are tons of green gift options being circulated this year; here are some of my faves.

For the kids, there's the nifty Power House: Sustainable Living in the 21st Century Science Kit or the equally awesome Fuel Cell Car and Experiment Kit. Both seem like they could be edutaining. And I mean that in a good way, not in the way that edutainment usually resembles neither education nor entertainment.

These solar chargers would make practical, useful, and relatively inexpensive gifts for, well, anyone with a mobile phone/iPod/DS/other gadget. If you feel particularly generous, of course, you could give one of these Voltaic Solar Backpacks/Bags. That'd be nice, too.

For environmentally friendly stocking stuffers, try Clif Bar Cool Tags: For every $2 Cool Tag you buy, Clif Bar invests $2 in a wind farm.

And perhaps the coolest green suggestion yet: Adopt a sheep in the Abruzzo region of Italy. There are three price options ranging from 80-190 euro, but I think the 140 euro option sounds pretty excellent. For the approximate equivalent of $201, you get not only the satisfaction of knowing that you're helping fund organic farming, cheese-making, and sheep-herding (and becoming the adoptive parent of a little Italian lamb—baaaa!), you also get:
1) adoption papers and photos of your sheep
2) 3 kilos of pecorino cheese
3) 1 kilo of juniper-smoked ricotta
4) 1 kilo of sheep salami (or caciocavallo cheese if you’re vegetarian)
5) 1 pair of 100% virgin wool hiking socks

You know you want the cheese. I know I want the cheese. I've always wanted to adopt....

Dec 12, 2007

Cycle in Style


Apparently many people know how to ride bikes. I'm not one of those people, but I greatly respect them and their balance. Anyway, I've stumbled across some cool bike accessories that I thought I should share with the cyclists out there.

If you think a delicate, ladylike bike is in order, deck it out with one of these lacy "Carrie" baskets. Very sweet. At the other extreme we've got this awesomely badass skull helmet. Now, in truth, it's meant to be worn by motorcyclists. However, if you can pull this off on a bike or scooter, you are way more hardcore than most. And probably have a highly developed sense of humor. And likely idolized Skeletor during your formative years. Between badass and girly lie the stupidly named Hokey Spokes, light-up gewgaws for your spokes. People will see you in the dark! You can spell messages! Fun for the whole family! Finally, these wing bike clips are a) a great idea and b) really cute. They keep your pants from getting caught in the pedals or chain or whatever it is that your pants can get caught on. Plus they're reflective, which can again help with the whole riding-at-night experience. And they look like wings! Come on—what more could you want?

Dec 10, 2007

O Tannenbaum

If you're in the market for a new tree this year, you've got a ton of options. Of course, you could get a real tree, but that always seems wasteful (of time, money, and natural resources) to me. You're cutting down a tree, probably getting gouged on the price, it'll shed needles like nobody's business and die soon, it's not pre-lit, and you're just going to have to buy a new one next year. Nah. Not for me, especially when there are so many fabulous artificials out there. (Oh, and a word to the wise: Always get pre-lit; it'll save so many headaches. And if you think it needs more lights, you can always add an extra strand or two.)

For example, you could get one in any number of funky colors. Or what about a tree that does a permanent headstand? It's unconventional nowadays, but is part of a long tradition of upside-down trees (and apparently displays your ornaments much better). And then there's the tree of the future, as envisioned in the 1950s. Perfect if you want to have a very Jetsons Christmas. If you're okay with the idea of dropping just over a grand on a tree, check out this beauty. I know, flocking and glitter sound tack-o-rama, but look gorgeous in person. (Unless they're applied shoddily, I'd imagine.) But be forewarned: Glitter sheds like a biotch.

Or perhaps you're a minimalist and find that none of these trees please you. If so, I've got one more suggestion up my sleeve: this acrylic model. Again, though, be prepared to part with a good chunk o'change.

Dec 7, 2007

Holiday Hooch


Just had to post a link to this adorable holiday cocktail, the Mistletoe and Holly. I'm not sure how it tastes—I'm somewhat skeptical about the flavor combination of cranberry juice, peppermint schnapps, and matcha powder—but it looks so horribly festive that I'd be tempted to give it a whirl anyway.

Dec 5, 2007

Holiday Geekery

Check out this geek tree. I've heard of themed trees before (a Disney tree, a Barbie tree, a shoe tree, etc.), but this is the first geek tree I've seen. Not a bad idea, though I think I'd be a bit more restrictive with what's considered geeky. (Harry Potter? Not so much. That's a different kind of geekery.)

Anyway, should you want your own geek tree, I've got some suggestions for you. Here you can buy a Flying Spaghetti Monster ornament and tree topper, or a Cthulu ornament. (I'm rather crafty, so I made my own FSM ornament.) Here's a different Cthulu ornament—Cthuluclaus. For some cuter, cuddlier (yet no less geeky) ornaments, how about Mario or Yoshi? Also handmade, though not quite cuddly, are these nifty robot ornaments. Or what about a Firefly ornament? If you're particularly hardcore, I suppose you could go for an alternate Firefly ornament, which features the ship in its bloody Reaver disguise. If you're a literary-type geek, you might consider an ornament like this one made of Scrabble tiles. Think of the possibilities: names, initials, WTF, STFU, ROFL, LOL, RTFM, XMAS, NERD, GEEK, whatever. Then there are this year's Hallmark ornaments: three Star Wars (here, here, and here) and two Star Trek ornaments (here and here). I know it's not specifically geeky, but I also like this bomb ornament, which is sorta suggestive of Looney Toons, sorta suggestive of the Mario games. Then there's this super-simple (but still pretty funny) iPod click wheel ornament. Cute chessboard and laptop ornaments, too.

For additional suggestions (there's a bunch of overlap, but she suggests some that I don't and I suggest some that she doesn't), take a peek at the relevant blog posts by Alice of Wonderland (Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4).

Dec 4, 2007

For Your Amusement

Know how I have an unnatural love for the song "Rock Lobster"? Yeah, well, so does this guy:


Now here's another funny video that fans of The Simpsons will definitely want to check out. It's Hank Azaria talking about some of the many (many) voices he does for the series.

Dec 3, 2007

A Roundup of Pop-Ups

Despite not actually owning any, I'm a big fan of the pop-up books of Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart (they don't always work in tandem, but many of the following suggestions are their joint publications). I know, you're probably thinking that pop-ups are just for kids, but no. I would only entrust very trustworthy, very careful kids with these books. The pop-ups are phenomenal—sometimes there are pop-ups within pop-ups within pop-ups. Here's a roundup of some of the best.

This one's for the Star Wars fans (and, frankly, anyone who appreciates extreme coolness): Star Wars: A Pop-Up Guide to the Galaxy. Dude, it contains working lightsabers. Tiny illuminated lightsabers.

If your bent runs more to classic children's stories, check out Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: A Pop-up Adaptation, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz: A Commemorative Pop-up, and Cinderella: A Pop-Up Fairy Tale.

Less stereotypically girly—but no less intricate—are the Encyclopedia Prehistorica books, a set of three: Dinosaurs, Mega-Beasts, and Sharks and Other Sea Monsters. I've only seen the one about dinosaurs in person, but it was quite impressive. The trio would make a great present.

For the Narnia fan, there's The Chronicles of Narnia Pop-up: Based on the Books by C. S. Lewis.

And, on a darker note, there's always The Pop-up Book of Phobias. I don't recommend it, but

Nov 28, 2007

Toys for (Spoiled) Tots

If you have a) oodles of cash and b) a certain little someone who you long to spoil, I've got some awesome suggestions.

Let's face it: We all want a Pleo of our own. At least I know I do.

Alternately, if Pleo's out of your price range, you could opt for one of the FurReal Friends. Some of them are pretty cute. The pony might be a bit much, though.

If you want a beautifully constructed, classic stuffed toy, you can't go wrong with Steiff. My pick is Admiral the Penguin.

For a more active sort of kid/kid at heart, check out this rad folding sled; it's nuts (and looks like the Terminator).

And if you must encourage the budding geeks, how about a authentic(ish) lightsaber?

Just don't get this scary-ass Robotic Panda. Eek.

Nov 27, 2007

For Problem Drinkers

Let's kick off this gift guide, shall we?

No, that's not just a euphemism for lushes. I'm talking about anyone who must have a beverage of some sort at all times...you know who you are. Whether they're coffee fiends or just trying to stay well-hydrated, they need that mug/bottle/whatever in hand constantly. Consider how wasteful it is, then, to buy and then dispose of cardboard coffee cups and plastic water bottles, when a reusable container would serve quite well. Here are my picks for the beverage junkies on your Christmas list.

For the tea lover, this travel mug with infuser lets you brew loose tea on the go. Very handy.

Practically any travel mug will do for coffee, provided it has a tight-fitting lid (preferably screw-on), is rugged enough to stand daily wear and tear, and won't leach chemicals into your drink (quick guide: recycling codes 2, 4, and 5 are safe). The steel mugs may look all industrial and sleek, but I find they scratch easily. Why not go for something spiffy but utilitarian? I like the sparkly kind like this one (though the sparkles don't show up in the photo, it's very snazzy in person).

Thanks to Slate's handy guide to reusable water bottles, I've come to two water bottle-related conclusions: Sigg for the gym, Platypus for everyday/everywhere else.

Okay, and if you are a lush, here's a witty little flask (note: I said witty, not cheap) that should serve your drinking needs. Though an intervention may be a healthier option.

Nov 26, 2007

Green Giant

No, I'm not just referring to the color of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree—this year it'll be strung with 30,000 LEDs to make for a more energy-efficient holiday season. It's a start....

Nov 20, 2007

If you've don't mind spending lavishly (and want to make a big, memorable impact), splash out on one of these LumiGram fiber optic tablecloths. I don't know what they look like in daylight, but they're stunning in the dark. They come equipped with European plugs, though, so you have to contact the company to have a U.S. plug attached instead.

A Pre-Thanksgiving Message From the Pinup

Sorry I've been AWOL, but the real job has been unbelievably busy. I was beginning to feel like I should have just been sleeping in the office. For reals. Anyway, the work-related insanity is over...and the Thanksgiving-related insanity is about to begin. So there will be no posts for the rest of the week. However, I shall use the lull to dig up some truly excellent goodies for the gift guide.

So have a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the tryptophan; it's okay to be lazy post-turkey-consumption, as this li'l guy will remind you.

Nov 15, 2007

Ho Ho No

Surely this is a joke: Some Australian Santa Clauses have been told to say "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho," as the latter may be offensive to women. You've got to be freaking kidding me. The only way I'd take offense is if Santa pointed at me and said, "Bitch, you're a ho ho ho." And even then I'd probably forgive him if he gave me some really good presents.

Nov 14, 2007

Family Matters

So I'm confused: Who wrote these Seth MacFarlane-less episodes of Family Guy? And if Seth MacFarlane's not involved, who the hell is providing the voices for, oh, half the characters?

Oh, and the baby's not named Stewis Griffin, people. Not sure who to blame for that typo, but my inner spelling Nazi won't let it slide.

Nov 13, 2007

The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World

Okay, I'm not sure these are the 25 most baffling toys ever, but they're certainly on the list. Needless to say, don't buy them for any impressionable children. I can think of a few adults who might appreciate them, but only ironically, like how most of us enjoy Journey.

Nov 9, 2007

My Goodness, My Guinness!

Boy, Guinness adverts have come a long way since that toucan balanced a beer on his beak. Check it out.

Nov 8, 2007

New in Frivolous Lawsuits

Let's get this out of the way: If you wear your hair covered and you refuse to remove said covering (be it a hat, a headscarf, or a frickin' Viking helmet), don't expect hair salons to clamor to hire you. They won't. And then, after you've been passed over by 24 salon owners, don't sue the 25th when she doesn't hire you either. Oh, and don't pull the "I'm being persecuted because of my religion!" act. How a stylist wears her own hair is one of the best indications of the quality of the salon; if I don't want to go to a hairdresser with a bad '80s perm or a mullet, I sure as hell don't want to go to someone whose hair I can't even see. Sorry, lady. Maybe you should apply for a job in a salon whose clientele wears headscarves.

Nov 6, 2007

Recombobulation

Returned from a mini-vacation on Sunday and have totally not recombobulated myself yet. Just yesterday I thought to myself, "Ooh, it's nearly time to start the Holiday Gift Guide! But not until November." I then realized that it was already November 5th. So I guess I'd better get in gear. How else will you know what you want for Christmas?

While I start sorting through the present possibilities, dividing the covetable from the craptastic, you get to watch this: the worst way to learn English ever.

Oct 30, 2007

Truly Scary

If you're ready for some good old-fashioned Halloween frights, check out the most recent Cat and Girl. Talk about chilling.

Oct 25, 2007

Mmm, Pumpkiny

Sorry for the infrequent posts, but work has been insane. And weekends have hardly been less nuts. However, I just saw this divine recipe and wanted—nay, needed—to share it with you. Commence Homer Simpson–esque drooling.

Oct 22, 2007

Sparkly Pumpkins—Why Not?

Hah! I love this blinged-out pumpkin riff on Damien Hirst's pretentious (though compelling in its sparkly excess) bejeweled skull, entitled "For the Love of God." Project!

Incidentally, this Hirst skull–related prank was awesome. I was positive I'd already blogged about it ages ago, but apparently I forgot.

Oct 18, 2007

Deborah Kerr, 1921-2007

Oh no...Deborah Kerr died two days ago. She was so good in...well, everything. We should all raise a glass of pink Champagne in her memory.

Oct 17, 2007

Technical Issues

In case you couldn't tell, this blog has been MIA for...hm, a bunch of days now. The server went down. But it's back up, so now we return to your regularly scheduled program.

Oct 12, 2007

Star Trek: The New (Old) Generation

Okay, I know it's dorky, but I'm still excited about the upcoming Star Trek movie. I was thrilled that they cast the adorable Antonin Yelchin as Chekov (let's hope there are no lines about "nuclear wessels"), and now they've apparently cast John Cho (Harold from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) as Sulu and Scotty, respectively.
I can see Simon Pegg being a completely awesome Scotty. 'E's workin' as fast as 'e can, Captain. 'E's only human.

Oct 11, 2007

'Cause Nothing Says "Respect"...


...like a tattoo of that word in your crotch. That everyone can see. Because you're naked in a Playboy centerfold. Riiiight. (The link to the full picture is totally NSFW, of course.)

Oct 10, 2007

No Swimming Allowed


Today's otterific cuteness is brought to you by I Can Has Cheezburger?. Poor little guy looks royally confused and/or annoyed. I would be too, li'l buddy.

Potions Lesson



You've gotta hand it to Martha Stewart (or M Diddy, her prison moniker, if you prefer)—she may have an irritatingly Connecticut television personality, but the lady can cook. And decorate. In honor of Halloween, I am hereby going to link to Martha's Spooky Halloween Spirits. Now, I personally think that there are so many more options than those provided, but these are a good jumping-off point, and have turned me on to something I never knew existed: black vodka. Time to get me some of that and whip up some new Halloween concoctions. I think it's decent quality, and it just looks beyond nifty.

Oct 9, 2007

Stylus Envy

Okay, I already wanted The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. But now that I know I can get an awesome feather stylus? Sign me up now, baby.

Oct 2, 2007

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I wonder where this little girl is learning her vocab....
"

Oct 1, 2007

Mad Mousepad

Have been insanely busy. Sore, crampy, headachy, and busy. Was even in the office on Sunday (blech!). Haven't had time to post. And am still busy. But not too busy to show you the most awesome (and by awesome I mean ridiculous) mousepad ever.
boobalicious

Sep 26, 2007

Reading Rainbow (Literally)

You know, I'd never thought of arranging my books by color before—probably because it's not a terribly logical way of doing things. However, that photo's giving me severe bookcase envy. Wonder if I can get away with rearranging all of our books before someone (who happens to be notoriously neurotic, er, particular about his books) has a coronary.

Sep 25, 2007

Not Just Useless, But Stupid Products

First up is this remote control, perfect for the person who has way too much school spirit. Seriously, who wants that? My remote doesn't need to be garish or match my decor. It needs to work. And not get stuck in the couch cushions. That's about it.

Now our next product is beyond idiotic. Can you imagine the meeting where this idea was first pitched? "Think about it—lots of girls use hairdryers, right? Now girls like pink, but a pink hairdryer? That's been done. We're going for edgy here. Just picture it: a pink-handled hairdryer shaped like—wait for it—a pistol!"

And someone actually green-lit that? Brilliant.

The Force is With Family Guy

If you missed it, do whatever you must to see the season premiere of Family Guy. It's an hour-long retelling of Star Wars: A New Hope (i.e., the first part of the real trilogy). And it is a-freaking-mazing.

Sep 20, 2007

New in Ill Thought-Out Photo Spreads

Hm. I can't imagine why some people are upset about this Vogue Italia "Make Love Not War" photo spread (you need to click on the September 2007 issue). I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but this turns my stomach. It features women cavorting with soldiers in what I'd imagine is supposed to be Iraq. In some shots the women look like hookers (e.g., the one where one of the models is straddling a soldier while another soldier films her), in others they look like victims of rape or at least violence (e.g., the shot where a soldier's holding a model by her neck, or the picture of what looks like a soldier pinning a model in the mud). I don't know; it just seems like there's no right way to photograph a scenario like this. In shots where the models and the soldiers are laughing and apparently enjoying themselves, it looks like they're taking the situation too lightly. In the more serious shots, it looks like the women are being victimized. The whole thing is just tasteless. I think that's what it boils down to.

On a slightly different topic, I wonder if those are real soldiers or male models, because they're uniformly gorgeous. (Well, I wouldn't want to end on a depressing note.)

Sep 18, 2007

Making TV Palatable: the Family Guy Crew

The Emmys apparently just took place. I missed it. Oops. That's what happens when you don't have a TV. However, it was, I repeat, the Emmys, so I don't actually care. I perused the dresses online later, so I got the important stuff taken care of. However, I did miss one worthwhile bit: the vocal stylings of Stewie and Brian. So here you go.

Oh, all right. Just for the hell of it, I'll throw in Peter's rendition of "Rock Lobster," too. 'Cause I'm all giving like that.

Sep 17, 2007

Damp Cats: Not a Euphemism

Today's cuteness is brought to you by Damp Cats.

They're cats.
They're wet.
And they're mad as hell.

And, in their anger, they're adorable.

Sep 14, 2007

The Louboutin Manicure

Continuing with the girliness, I present you with the Louboutin manicure: black on top, red underneath. I know it's sorta silly, but I love it! And not only because I have a major Louboutin hard-on. (Not because of the brand status, but because they're consistently gorgeous shoes.) Sadly, I cannot afford even one little pair. So perhaps I could just give myself a Louboutin manicure instead...if I ever manage to grow my nails long again. (I'm a compulsive filer.)

Sep 13, 2007

The Best of Fashion Week (Spring 2008)

Yeah, strap in; it's a long ride. I've selected six of my favorites (I forced myself to choose only one per designer or the list would have gone on indefinitely), excluding the Naeem Khan collection, which I already blogged about. Without further ado, here they are:

Next time I'm invited to a ball, I'm hitting up Marchesa.

Betsey Johnson is a perennial favorite; it was so hard to choose only one dress from her '80s prom–themed collection.

I love how simultaneously punky and classy Anna Sui's ensembles were.

You can't go wrong with Oscar de la Renta, can you?

I was impressed by the lovely simplicity of the fabrics and jewel tones in Reem Acra's collection.

And, finally, I want this adorable dress by Tracy Reese, as I could actually wear it (and not just to a grand gala).

Sep 12, 2007

The Fabulous Fashion of Naeem Khan

Despite finding the most recent Fashion Week offerings by and large quite blah, I have been impressed by a few designers. Will show my personal faves at the end of the week, I suppose. One collection that I particularly liked (and had no previous opinion about) was that by Naeem Khan. (Yeah, I didn't know who he was either.) The collection seemed to be a nice blend of mod and Indian influences and, aside from a few rather mumsy missteps, was consistently appealing. One major qualm, though: I loathe the way the models' hair has been done. Dreadful and frumpy. Here, have a gander:

A cute, heavily embroidered ladies-who-lunch ensemble:

Sort of caftany, sort of fabulous:

A mod little mini:

Totally gorgeous and elegant:

Sep 11, 2007

Sinfully Sweet

Ah, it's always fun to take a quick perusal of Etsy. Sure, there's a lot of godawful stuff (crocheted Barbie dresses, anyone?), but sometimes there are some real gems. Today's discovery is SweetHeartSinner, who sells handmade business card/cigarette cases and necklaces. Very cute, not to mention mercifully affordable. Will ultimately have to see a piece or two in person to verify the quality, but they look quite professional. Some of these little baubles would make excellent gifts.

Sep 7, 2007

Shadows on the Wall

Whoa. I've always found shadow puppets kinda cool, but this is incredible. The best I can ever manage is a reasonable duck and a lopsided bunny.

Sep 6, 2007

Ow, My Freaking Eyes!

In honor of the fact that practically everyone is getting married right now (one coworker this weekend, my former boss next weekend, my current boss...okay, in November, another coworker a few months ago, my uncle at some point in the near future, my ex-roommate's brother soon, and another friend has been a bridesmaid twice over the summer), I present you with the Top Ten Ugliest Bridesmaids' Dresses, as compiled by People magazine. And there are some stunners, believe you me.

Sep 5, 2007

Blue Feet

Busy, busy, busy. Know what always helps if you're tired, possibly frustrated, and undeniably busy? A blue-footed booby, that's what.

See? Doesn't that make you feel better? Don't you find yourself involuntarily lifting your leg in a reciprocal dance move? I do. (Shut up. It's a perfectly normal response.)

Sep 2, 2007

Tribbleriffic

Didn't have a chance to post this yesterday, what with being a) busy at work and b) delirious with sickness. But I love it. Thus I present The Trouble with Tribbles: A Television Adaptation by Edward Gorey, a darkly comical little merger of Edward Gorey and Star Trek. (Via Boing Boing.)

Aug 31, 2007

Fall(ing) Fashion

Ugh. I'm sick and can't even be properly miserable, as things are busy at work and I have to be there (and work long, long hours). Today I showed up in one of my least fashionable ensembles: jeans, Chuck Taylors, and a Rainbow Brite hoodie. Schlumpy, but comfy.

On the other end of the sartorial spectrum, Fall Fashion Week is about to begin. Let's kick off with a look at the Top Five Runway Falls. Hm. That must be the top five most recent runway falls, as the list omits Naomi Campbell's spectacular 1993 topple from those infamous Vivienne Westwood platforms.

And, for the pièce de résistance, watch the clip below for more model-falling hilarity.

Aug 29, 2007

The Ferocious Femmes of Joshua Petker

There's something gorgeous and feral about the paintings of Joshua Petker. I want one—or more—but I'm pretty sure they're out of my price range. (Via NOTCOT.)

Aug 27, 2007

In Soviet Russia, Blog Posts You!

How much more awesomeness can possibly be encapsulated in one image? The following image (courtesy of LOLPresidents.com) contains both a lolcatism (lolcatechism?) and a Russian reversal.

(Oh, and, if you don't know what the painting depicts, it's the 1917 murder of the Russian royal family by the Bolsheviks at Yekaterinburg.)

Aug 21, 2007

The New Guy

I have a bit of vacation coming up (entertaining visiting relatives), so posting shall be spotty or nonexistent for the rest of the week. For a good giggle, have a comic.

Aug 16, 2007

Jabba the Catt



I know it's been out since yesterday, but this has gotta be one of the funniest lolcats ever. And I'm impressed: Wookiee is spelled correctly. (Most people forget the second e.)

Aug 15, 2007

Where My Time Goes

Yeah, so I have no interest in this whole blogging thing at the moment. I've been totally consumed by two things:

1) The audiobook of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
2) Polyvore

Allow me to explain about Polyvore. It's a site where you essentially play dress-up with photos of actual clothes, shoes, jewelry, and other accessories, some designer, some not. I figured it'd be a mild diversion; I was wrong. It's a total timesuck.

Thank god I haven't had any, you know, work to do.

Aug 14, 2007

The Wit and Wisdom of T-Pain

And just when I'd thought society was sadly lacking in a modern equivalent of Shakespeare, I discover T-Pain. I think I'm in love—no homo. Do yourself a vast favor and watch both clips. And have a draaaank handy.

Aug 10, 2007

I Only Have Eyelashes for You

Damn. I meant to mention these a week or two ago, but I forgot. These eyelash necklaces are totally nuts in a surreal, vaguely Dali-esque fashion, but are also pretty and delicate. Know what else they are? Totally DIYable. And think of all the nifty variations you could make by using different kinds of funky eyelashes. Ooh, project!

Aug 9, 2007

Starry Starry Nails

Oh, I am such a sucker for novelty beauty products. Hell, I bought the entire glow-in-the-blacklight line of Chanel makeup years ago and have been making it last ever since. Though I no longer have a blacklight in my apartment...hm, maybe I should do something about that so that I can wear the blacklight makeup again.

Okay, that's entirely beside the point. The point is that I want this nail polish. It's Le Magnetique by Lancôme, and here's why it's so cool: Apparently there's a magnet embedded in the bottom of the bottle. After applying the second coat of polish, you swipe the magnet over your nails and it makes a star-like design appear. Totally rad.

I only wish the polish came in a pale blue—then your nails really would look like star sapphires. And it would be awesome. But I'll take the burgundy, pretentiously called Bordeaux Esmee, without too many quibbles.

Aug 8, 2007

When the Paper is the Present

How sad is it that I'm getting all excited about wrapping paper? Not even a gift-type item, but the paper in which it may be wrapped. I know, I'm easily entertained, especially by shiny things. So next time you plan on giving me a present, could you please wrap it in one of these lovely chandelier-print papers?

Not Dirtty—Try Despicable

I'm sorry, but this is fucked up. First of all, doggy fashion is a bit retarded any way you look at it. Some ensembles are too ridiculous to not find endearing (e.g., the sequined lavender leg warmers I bought for my grandmother's poodle), but let's face it—dog outfits are just tiny travesties. Putting a grill (jesus, I can't even type the word without wanting to put air quotes around it—I hate those things) on a dog is horrendous. It's bad enough that most pit bulls have to wear muzzles; why blingify the muzzle and turn what should be a negative (the fact that your dog is required to be muzzled) and masquerade it as a positive attribute (your dog is all ferocious and ghetto-fabulous)? I don't like the glorification of violence (not to mention conspicuous consumption), and this is precisely what Dirtty Bones does. To dogs who, no matter how fierce, can't fight against horrid and demeaning wardrobe choices.

Aug 6, 2007

It Would Have Been Selfish to Ask for More

I love everything about this painting by Edwin Ushiro: It's striking, soulful, vaguely sad, and has a fantastically evocative title (It Would Have Been Selfish to Ask for More). It's probably for the best then that it's already been sold. 'Cause I would have been seriously tempted, yet I don't really have a spare $450. Maybe he'll sell prints—I live in hope.

Aug 3, 2007

Never Trust Robots

It's a good bit of advice, no? Thanks to Boing Boing, I just today discovered the video for the classic Andrew Thompson song, "We're in Business."

Aug 1, 2007

New from the Department of Ridiculous Accessories

Okay, these sequined-ball bracelets are ridiculous but sorta rad. The high-heeled flippers, though? Sheer retardation.

Jul 31, 2007

Totally Daft

Chances are you've seen one or both of these videos before. If not, you need to watch them. The girl is god on a stick—she's just awesomely adorable and funky and talented. And she's not pulling the traditional sexpot routine, which is genuinely refreshing and makes her even cooler.

The hands...well, the video starts off slowly, but trust me—it gets better. Amazing even.

Oh, as a bonus, you can check out the slow version to see the chick's moves in slow-mo (a.k.a. real time).

Now I have the strange urge to own some Daft Punk. Huh.

Darth Vader at Home

If you've ever wondered what Darth Vader does in his free time (you know, when not planning universal domination)? Here's a rare glimpse into the home life of Darth Vader. Hint: He reads PlaySith.

Jul 27, 2007

Three Pictures

There's no theme to today's post, except that all the things I considered posting about were images. So you're gettin' 'em all.

First, the horrible and depressing.

Second, the sublime.

Third, one that bridges the gap: a little bit awesome, a little bit morbid.

Jul 26, 2007

Guys and (Sex) Dolls

Now you might start to think I'm a bit obsessed with RealDolls, but I'm not, really. I admire all the work that goes into them (seriously, each one is a work of art), and I'm simultaneously fascinated and repelled by the men who own them. (I also tend to think of RealDolls as giant Barbies. With orifices.)

Anyway, my point was that, if you have a bit of spare time, check out this British documentary, Guys and Dolls, about RealDolls and the men who love (and love) them. It's sad and a bit scary how many of the guys treat the dolls as though they're sentient beings. And it's also a bit upsetting how...well, forlorn some of the dolls look. Definitely worth a look, though.

Also, I think it contains the best line ever: "Shit. And I'm running out of vaginas."

Jul 25, 2007

The Plight of Celebrity Progeny

Sweet Jeebus on a pogo stick, but I pity some of these celebrities' kids! I mean Ocean and Liberty aren't too bad (albeit rather hippiesque), but Audio Science, Moxie CrimeFighter, and Princess Tiaamii are gonna have some problems on the playground.

Jul 23, 2007

Jane Jetson's Jewelry

What a cool bracelet! It looks like something Jane Jetson would wear. I want one. Or several. In different colors and widths. That seems to be a problem, though—once again, I find myself enamored of a product that isn't available for sale. Bah.

Jul 19, 2007

Now Your Taser Can Match Your Shoes!

Look, I can appreciate being a girl who sometimes walks around alone at night and could theoretically use protection. This is surely why both of my grandmothers have given me pepper spray keychains. But I draw the line at carrying around my own Taser. It's lovely that they come in multiple colors now (even pink!) but I just don't need one. Especially not for $300. Moreover, I don't want every soccer mom on the block equipped with her own pink Taser. As adorable as Veronica Mars was, I thought that even she whipped it out too often. (Her Taser, I mean.)

Anyone else think this is a really, really bad idea?

Update: I just realized there's an Times article about exactly the same topic in today's issue. In case you're interested.

Jul 18, 2007

Simpsons Couture

You know, I really didn't think I was all that excited about the upcoming Simpsons movie, but I guess I am. I keep jonesing for more Simpsons goodness—I even stole a Squishee cup from a local 7-Eleven. (Well, I wanted the cup, but I didn't actually feel like drinking a Squishee. Besides, how could I save the cup if it were all sticky? Whatever. It's a paper cup. Don't judge me.)

Anyway, there's an adorable spread in Harper's Bazaar depicting the Simpsons on a whirlwind tour of the fashion houses of Paris (with Linda Evangelista as their guide). Very cute. Love Homer as Karl Lagerfeld. And Marge looks pretty hot, I must say. If you have no idea what's going on, here's a handy guide to reality vs. its Simpsonified counterpart.

Jul 16, 2007

A Very Special Post

I've been a) away, b) busy at work, and c) entertaining friends, hence the lack of posts. To atone for my disappearance, I present to you the greatest supernatural-mystery-hospital-drama show ever: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It was sadly short-lived, but that does mean that it's much more manageable to watch in chunks on YouTube. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are the segments in order. (Thanks, Jenn! Really, thank you.)

Episode 1, Part 1
Episode 1, Part 2
Episode 1, Part 3
Episode 2
Episode 3, Part 1
Episode 3, Part 2
Episode 3, Part 3
Episode 4, Part 1
Episode 4, Part 2
Episode 4, Part 3
Episode 5, Part 1
Episode 5, Part 2
Episode 5, Part 3
Episode 6, Part 1
Episode 6, Part 2
Episode 6, Part 3

Jul 2, 2007

Lily Allen, Jessica Rabbit, and Blogmusik

Yeah, I know it's been out for a while, but I'm still rather taken with this Mark Ronson/Lily Allen collaboration. Lily Allen by way of Jessica Rabbit is pretty freaking awesome. See?

Speaking of Lily Allen, I recently realized that her music rocks. She's like a girly version of The Streets. However, as I don't currently own her album, I've been making do by listening to it here. It's a good system (the whole streaming audio on demand idea), but the content is a bit spotty. Still, it's a good idea and awfully useful when you want to listen to music that you haven't gotten around to buying yet. (Yes, I buy my music.)

Jun 28, 2007

Design a Springfieldian

Okay, I never have to be bored again. I just created a Simpsons avatar. Lots of lovely color choices—my chick has pink hair. But what's with the lack of wardrobe options? Hrmph. Still, there are tons of choices in most of the other fields.

Maybe I'd better go back and make her a friend.... >

Jun 27, 2007

If I Only Had a Braaaain

Meant to post this, oh, a week ago. But I've been busy and forgetful. Anyway, I've always been a sucker for all things Wizard of Oz. Especially if they're funny. (Yeah, I owned an Air Dorothy—"It's gotta be da shoes!" tee back in the day.) So I greatly appreciate this shirt. I think I may need one. How often do you get to combine zombies and The Wizard of Oz in one shirt? (Via the always-excellent Tcritic.)

Jun 26, 2007

Dick Cheney, Highlander?

Surely everyone knows the about the whole rigmarole about Dick Cheney, the, um, vice president, not being a part of the executive branch. I don't need to comment on that. Why would I? Jon Stewart has done so much more eloquently than I could. Just go watch.

Jun 21, 2007

Small But Deadly

Never underestimate the little guys, what with their teeny tiny nuclear bombs.

Oh, and I've gotta say that I just love the Liechtenstein Nuclear Research Facility. The Onion rocks.

Jun 20, 2007

If I Could Turn Back Time...Oh, If Only!

Excuse me while I rub my temples and try to decide whether this is fabulously kitschy or sort of tragic. Probably a bit of both. I think I may need to own it. Anyway, brace yourself for the schlock and awe of '80s Cher Barbie.

Yeah, that's her infamous "If I Could Turn Back Time" ensemble. Which leads to my next point: Have you watched that video lately? Ever? Well, it's about time you do. Seriously. Go. Now. Watch.

After re-watching the video earlier today, I realized that I'd entirely forgotten (no, not Cher's assless...well, ass) that her son Elijah Blue plays guitar in the video. That must have been an experience, watching your mom hump cannons and gyrate in a glorified thong. Bet that one led to some great "your mom" jokes.

And, to further complete our journey into the bizarre, here's Meg Griffin's version from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. (Anyone else think it sounds like Rachael MacFarlane singing? Intentionally crappily, natch.)

In conclusion, we now know what would happen if Cher could turn back time. She would be Barbie.

Jun 19, 2007

New York: Sexy But Safe

Yet another reason why New York rocks my socks off: The city's got its own condoms. Rock.

Jun 15, 2007

Ring-A-Ding-Ding

While ambling around Etsy, I found some awesome stuff. (As usual, I s'pose.) This time I was trawling the ring section.

I love both of these chunky, funky bits of gorgeousity.

This nipple ring cracks me up. (No, it's not for your nipple. It is a nipple.)

Not sure why I like it as much as I do, but this fox ring is both sorta cute and sorta rugged.

And just about everything by nanopod is bizarrely, extraterrestrially (or interthoracically) awesome.

Jun 14, 2007

Classing Up Crochet

Boy, I wish I could just whip up some crocheted metal jewelry. Until I learn how (and I'm not holding my breath—I'm kinda busy these days), I guess I'll just have to drool over this collection. I don't want every piece, of course. Just, well, most of them. Oh, and if that's the designer, Arielle de Pinto, modeling the jewelry, she's pretty cute herself. (Via NOTCOUTURE.)

Jun 13, 2007

Orgy of Anthropologie

Once in a while, I find myself compelled to check out the goodies at Anthropologie. They're seldom affordable, but a girl can dream, right? Here are my most recent lust objects:

Cirrus Bedding—I can't decide whether I prefer the grey or white. I think the grey, though. It just looks like such luxurious, light summer bedding.

The Poet's Necklace—Not that any poet could afford it, mind you. But it's pretty cool. Am busily trying to figure out how I could make one of my own without slicing myself to ribbons.

Who's the Fairest? Mirror—So delicate. I think it's my top pick. And, at $148, it's cheaper than either the bedding or the necklace.

Jun 12, 2007

JFK Gets the Washington Treatment

From the genius (Brad Neely) behind George Washington comes a most excellent follow-up: Professor Brothers present History Lesson #1. The new subject? JFK, motherfuckers. (Thanks Afshin!)

Jun 11, 2007

Everything's Better Covered in Crystals

God, I'm such a sucker for the sparklies. All you have to say is the magic word (that's Swarovski, in case you didn't know) and I automatically start oohing and aahing. Take a gander at the crystal-encrusted goodies at the RISD and Swarovski joint exhibit at ICFF 2007. I particularly like this cool cobwebby...thing. (I initially thought it was a lamp, but just realized that it may be purely decorative. Personally, I think that's a bit of a waste. One thing I've learned from my grandmother is that, whenever possible, turn it—whatever it may be—into a lamp.)

Also cool are the funky, chunky chair and the trompe l'oeil–ish table, both of which you can see in the gallery.

Jun 9, 2007

Pretty Young Things

What is the connection between beauty, sweets, and death? Not sure, but I found two photosets that are worth checking out for their picturesque weirdness. First, there's Daniela Edburg's Drop Dead Gorgeous, in which an assortment of chicks succumb to an array of (mostly) delicious temptations. My demise would totally be Death by Nutella. (Oh, and I have these socks.)

Even creepier is the series Little Dolls, the subjects of which make JonBenet Ramsey look like Laura Ingalls.

Jun 5, 2007

Awesome Abduction

This Abduction Lamp is too funny. It's a good thing it wasn't produced back in the mid '90s, when I had an alien-themed bedroom. Actually, it was a little bit preposterous. My room was like what would happen if an alien mated with a Barbie doll...in the back of a Volkswagen. (Via NOTCOT.)

Jun 4, 2007

Make Me Fries


Prepare to wet yourself. Check out this captioned video of Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter." The captions sound spot-on to me. Thanks Zack!

Jun 1, 2007

Cherokee, Marching Down the Trail of Tears


Yeah, I know it's a dreadful Europe song, but it's so horrible that it's awesome. And I would have it stuck in my head all day if I wore this hoodie. Seriously, though, the hoodie's amazing—a great shape and funky headdress detail. Unfortunately, it's also $236, so I don't suppose I'll be picking one up any time soon.

Lovely Legos


This guy's Lego art is awesome. It's sort of astonishing how gripping some of his monochromatic people are.

May 31, 2007

Apples Are Art, Bananas Are Beauty

Oh, I like the idea behind this still life fruit bowl...but I could make one myself and it wouldn't cost 100 smackers. (I smell a dollar store project!) And, even though it's a really nifty concept, the frame portion isn't terribly functional. Still, I am in need of a fruit bowl, and this is a clever idea.

May 30, 2007

It's a Boontjeful World

Ever since I first saw a photo of Tord Boontje's gorgeous Swarovski blossom chandeliers, I've been completely besotted. Here's a chance to find out a bit more about the man himself. Okay, only a teeny bit, but watching the video has now whetted my appetite for the book.

May 29, 2007

Useless Products

...both of them vaguely gross. I thought it was odd enough that you might want your navel to smell and taste nice, but do you really need sparkly poop? I think that surpasses mere bizarreness.

May 25, 2007

Luke, I am Your Art Project

Check out these photos from The Vader Project, an exhibit designed to commemorate the 40th anniversary of Star Wars: A New Hope. The Vader Project entails a variety of replicas of Darth Vader's iconic mask, as reimagined by artists. Some of the results are funny, some are so-so, and some are just amazing. It's like The Pony Project, but less girly. And man did I love The Pony Project. (Via NOTCOT.)

May 24, 2007

I CAN HAS PREZIDENTIAL CHEEZBURGER.

What would I have ever done with my time had I not discovered lolpresidents? The offerings in the Fark contest are uneven (though some are quite high-larious), but this site is comedic gold. Thanks Boing Boing!

May 23, 2007

Not Just Pulp Fiction, But Pulp Art

Such an awesome collection of pop-up/cut-out pulp novel art. I know that's a strange description, but I really can't think of a better one. Trust me, though, it's neato. Now I want to dig up some cheap old books and mutilate their covers for the sake of art. All you'd need is a steady hand and a sharp scalpel. (Via Boing Boing.)