Jan 31, 2007

Good Clean Fun


Just had to post these chocolate soaps, as they look absolutely scrumptious. And I'm in total chocolate withdrawal.

Oh, and, while you're soaping up, why not toss some spa lights in the tub? Get a nice, relaxing ambiance going? Invite someone to join you? Hm?

Wings and Things

Yeah, I know this might sound stereotypical and all, but some stereotypes just hold up. Real men (and women) love their BBQ and wings. Hence, if you truly love the man in your life, you will get him this book: Wings Across America: 150 Outrageously Delicious Chicken Recipes for Valentine's Day. And a grill. Unfortunately, some of us live in a studio and have no place to put a grill, hence we are deferring the purchase of said book until we have the room for a grill.

Jan 30, 2007

Harry Hotter...er, Potter


Much as I hate to post this on the heels of a dead-serious rape-related story, the still-underage Daniel Radcliffe, aka Harry Potter, has turned alarmingly slammable. (Via Gawker.)

Speaking of Harry Potter, how about a little more pornification? (Actually, I suppose the aforementioned pics are really an exercise in objectification. But the latter experiment is definitely one of pornification. Oh, and thanks Zack.)

Blame the Victim (Again)

This story is appalling. I'm certainly not saying that, if there is a warrant for an outstanding debt, the police shouldn't hold the woman accountable, but stopping the investigation into her rape and arresting her is not the way to do it. How deplorable.

Jan 29, 2007

Just Jewelry

See, I've found a lot of awesome jewelry online recently. And I've long thought, "Hm. Why don't I post some of these gorgeous little things in my Valentine's Day gift guide?" "Of course I must!" I replied to myself. But I've gotten a bit carried away and could probably continue unearthing treasures of the jewelry variety for quite some time. But then you wouldn't be able to order any in time for Valentine's Day. Hence I decided to give myself a kick in the pants and publish this post. So here it is.

You would get her a jewel the size of the moon if you could. (Or at least that's the line you're going to use on her.) But you cannot. So instead present her with a metal gem ring, which is funky, stylish, and suggestive of a horkin' huge stone without actually being a horkin' huge stone. (Or worse, a horkin' huge paste stone, which is just tacky.)

Pretty much anything from Tatty Devine would make a fabulous present. Faves include the great bear brooch, the spectacular dinosaur necklace (for something slightly lower-key, yet similarly themed, try the fishbone necklace), and the clever trapeze necklace. Perhaps the most V-Day appropriate choice would be the adorable horse and carriage necklace. So cute.

The Dick & Sassy line of jewelry is pretty nifty, too.

Also, for some truly unusual—but lovely—rings, check out Saya Hibino's collection. I rather fancy the (unfortunately named) Black Weave Ring.

Well, Some Stupid Children Think They're Made of Chocolate.

Oh dear. What an unfortunate name for a restaurant. Politically incorrect doesn't even begin to cover it.

Pilotless Drone. Pilotless Drone. Drone. Drone.

This man is crazy. And repetitive. I think he must be one of the world's nitpickiest San Francisco Chronicle readers, who just happens to also be a speed freak. (Thanks for the copy-editing humor, Afshin.)

Jan 26, 2007

Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear?


I have never been a fan of Lladró—it tends to be sappy, pallid, expensive knicknacks. However, while out and about yesterday, I noticed this stunning jewelry collection, pretentiously named Re-Cyclos by Bodo Sperlein. (Be forewarned: The Lladró site design is appalling.) I didn't even know they made jewelry, but these necklaces and the ring are just lovely—delicate, organic in appearance, elegant. Doubtless expensive, too.

Jan 25, 2007

Fat- and Calorie-Free Chocolate

No, I'm not advocating you chew on some chocolate-scented scratch 'n sniff stickers (which are probably the only chocolates out there that lack calories and fat). This is chocolate for your body. You could pick up an organic cocoa butter massage bar (if you're stingy) or spring for the zero-calorie chocolate body care gift basket (if you're slightly more flush).

Should you happen to be one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate (what is wrong with such people?) but still want to get in on the sensual massage action, you could opt for one of these passion candles, which provide aromatherapy and can be used as massage oil (wax?) when melted.

Though this should be perfectly obvious, a massage must accompany any of these products. If you're not going to make good with the massage, don't give these gifts, which will surely be seen as a cruel tease.

A Serious Post

I'm sorry to be depressing in the midst of my fluffy, happy V-Day gift guide, but I just read this article and felt obligated to repost it. It's about Cambodia's sex trade, which largely deals in children. They're sold by their families, plied with drugs, subjected to repeated rapes, and often infected with HIV. Just devastating.

Love/Hate


If that describes your your relationship, why don't you get your on-again/off-again Valentine one of these clever shirts?

Jan 24, 2007

How Vivid


Ready to see some of the world's ugliest upholstery? Peep this photoset, which features public transport upholstery from around the globe. Horrifying. But nicely photographed. (Via Boing Boing.)

Jan 23, 2007

Hideosity

You all know how I loathe leggings? Well, I do. I'm perhaps second only to the Fug Girls in my abhorrence of leggings. The only time they're okay is if they're thermals, i.e., to be worn under pants. Thus I present the most hideous item of clothing ever: thermal ruffle-butt leggings. Now I love ruffle-butt undies—they're a cute mixture of girlish and sexy—but I cannot condone ruffles on the dreaded leggings. Especially on thermal leggings, which are so clearly designed to be worn under other clothing, as they thwart any such practical purpose.
God help us all.

Rolling Along

Oh, and while we’re on the theme, allow me to mention the greatest Katamari T-shirt ever.

Felt With Feeling


Check out the adorable felt jewelry creations of Made by Moxie. This cuff and these rings are a must for diehard Katamari fans, and I just plain old like the power button and bunny rings.

So yeah: Buy handmade this Valentine's Day. Your Valentine will think you're all sweet and thoughtful and resourceful to find such quirky, unique goodies. Then she will have sex with you. Which is really the point, innit.

Jan 22, 2007

Unisexy

Take a gander at these belts, which seem well-made and are rather fetching (in a decidedly rugged way). Though "True Until Death" is obviously the sentiment most appropriate for Valentine's Day, I must confess my preference for "Death or Glory."

Space Invaders cufflinks

I <3 NY (And So Does My Valentine)


Personally, I think this ring is designed well and would make a fabulous present for any stylish New Yorker (or for us transplants). Not only is it unisex, it also covers a variety of New York boroughs. Yay all-inclusive jewelry!

Jan 19, 2007

A Board Game for the Sex and the City Set

I'd meant to post this as a Christmas gift suggestion, but it'd make a good present any old time. Be forewarned, however: This is a gift appropriate for only the girliest of girls (or the gayest of men). Beauty junkies everywhere, rejoice; here is Sephora Monopoly.

Jan 18, 2007

Tea for Me


Oh sweet god in heaven: I have a major hard-on for this tea set. I mean, come on. It combines two of my favorite things—chandeliers and tea. It's all elegant and subtly shiny and gorgeous and I do need dishes. (Right, honey?) And, for the time being, shipping is only $5, which is excellent.

For Penning Your Love Letters


In case my previous writing-related suggestions weren't up your alley, what about this all-metal pen? As in there's no ink. Just metal. Weird as hell, but could be pretty cool.

Jan 17, 2007

Hm. Is That Blinky, Pinky, Inky, or Clyde?


If you're looking for some non-hokey jewelry for both guys and gals who are either children of the '80s or video game fans, take a gander at the Pac-Man Fever collection by Tiny Armour. I love the ghost and Ms. Pac-Man jewelry, but I do think the collection is severely lacking in that it contains nothing of Pac-Man himself!

Baby Sloth Preciousness


Awww, the cuteness is ridiculous! Check out this video of a baby sloth. What with the peekies and the stretchies and the yawnies, he's...just...so...tired. (Thanks Genie!)

Jan 16, 2007

Kicking Off the Valentine's Day Gift Guide


Well, as long as you're doing the whole boy-girl-Valentine's Day thing, you might as well Perpetuate the Stereotype. It's okay, 'cause it's all socially conscious and tongue-in-cheek, you see. Not to mention good design. Also unisex, which means it's a good gift for both boy-types and girl-types.

Jan 12, 2007

Steel Yourself

I know this is sort of random, but I really want to try this: Liquid Stainless Steel. You can brush it onto appliances, fridges, dishwashers, etc. I love the look of brushed steel and fantasize about one day having a kitchen all decked out in stainless. However, that dream (like most of mine) is rather expensive. Hence the brush-on liquid steel might prove an affordable, practical alternative. It's only $9 for a test kit (which you could use on something small, like drawer pulls or a blender or whatnot), so it seems worth trying. Just not while I'm in my present apartment. Maybe the next one....

Jan 11, 2007

Postal Pork


Just in case there's not enough pork in your life, try these: Chinese stamps that are scented and flavored like pork. Kinda nuts, huh? But I guess it's a good way to send porkalicious love to your friends around the world. (Via Boing Boing.)

Jan 10, 2007

Like a Ferris Wheel for Your Shoes!


I know this has been kicking around for a while, but it's such a cool-looking (and useful) device—and now it's actually available for sale. Thus I present to you the shoe wheel. Pretty cool. Of course, it only holds about 20-30 pair of shoes, so I'd need a few. Hell, it'd look like a shoe carnival!

Jan 9, 2007

Maybe Asians are Smarter


As evidenced by this boob-seeking baby.

Jan 8, 2007

O RLY? YA RLY!


Nothing—and I mean nothing—cracks me up the way the O RLY? owl does. I've seen the picture a million times now, yet I laugh every single time. (And then I say O RLY? in a retarded voice. Actually, my version is more along the lines of O RRY?, which sounds cuter.) Imagine my delight when I discovered the O RLY? website. I think I may just need to get me some owl swag.

Update, 08/10/09: The site seems to be down...or has disappeared. Missed my chance to get O RLY Xmas cards, I guess. Well, it has been, um, two years since I posted this.

Jan 5, 2007

Ending Women's Suffrage

Okay, peeps. Remember the good ol' days of The Man Show? The one with Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel, not the generic douchewads who replaced them. Without a doubt, the best bit ever done in that show was the piece in which Adam and Jimmy set up a table in a mall and asked passersby to sign a petition to end women's suffrage. And many did. Including many women. It was hysterical. Now that hysteria's been captured in T-shirt form.

Jan 4, 2007

Happy Feet (Not the Movie)

Know how I'm all about the socks and tights? Well, I just found another good hosiery resource online and felt obligated to share it with you. (I know how thrilling this is, but try to contain yourselves.) Good for your assorted leg and arm warmer cravings, too, though I'm morally conflicted about abetting you in that regard.

Jan 3, 2007

Schmaltz


Man, do I love the Arrested Development crew. Witness the schmaltzy awesomeness that is Michael Cera's excellent parody video.

Jan 2, 2007

Greetings in 2007


Hope everyone had a merry Christmas, happy New Year, holly jolly Hanukkah, etc. (No, Kwanzaa doesn't count. Get real.) As is probably apparent by my online absence, I've been on what can laughingly be called "vacation." Though I had many more suggestions for the holiday gift guide, alas, I ran out of time, which further proved that I should have begun the guide when I first wanted to (some time in November). However, I shall not despair, nor should you: The Valentine's Day gift guide approaches!

And, just in case you're looking for some ideas as to how to spend some of the lovely checks you no doubt received for the holidays, take a peek at these handmade skirts.