Feb 28, 2007

Get Smart (Anew)


Get Smart was one of my favorite shows ever. Deeply silly, I know, but I just thought it was awesome. (Of course, I was watching it on Nick at Nite when I was about 10, but whatever. It still rocks.) So it is with a mixture of excitement and trepidation that I have learned that Warner Bros. is making a new movie based on the series. It will star Steve Carell as Maxwell Smart (solid choice), Alan Arkin as the Chief (also excellent), and Anne Hathaway as Agent 99 (eh). I really hope it's cheesy and insouciant and trippy like the show and not another Bewitched fiasco.

Feb 27, 2007

Disgust is an Emotion, Too

I can't even begin to properly express my disgust at this exploitative, sensationalist, and, above all, clueless news story about the perils of being emo. (Thanks for the heads-up, Afshin.)

Feb 26, 2007

Go Fly a Kite—Now a Death Threat!

You know there's something wrong when a kite-flying festival is marred by 11 deaths. Eleven. Deaths. At a kite-flying festival. What the fuck is wrong with the world (particularly the participants in this event)? (Via reddit.)

Feb 23, 2007

A Kindred Soul

It's about bloody time someone addressed the definitely issue. My inner spelling Nazi is pleased. (Via reddit.)

Feb 22, 2007

The Best of the Worst (2007 Fashion Shows)

Every year I find some ghastly offerings for my viewing pleasure in New York magazine's fashion week(s) section; this year was no different. Here are just a few highlights:

From Giles Deacon:

Yeah, so when did flinging a sheepskin on a model become haute couture?

From Brian Reyes:

The clothes—not so bad. Ugly, but not a travesty. The dead beaver on the model's head—ew. Totally kicks it up a notch from ugly to fugly.

From Luca Luca:

Okay, in this case I don't suppose I can really blame the designers. The model looks otherworldly. And by otherworldly I don't mean ethereal. I mean unearthly. Alien. Yes. She looks like a freaking space alien. Honey, it's time to phone home. Your Martian parents are worried about you. And they wish you'd eat a little something.

Feb 21, 2007

Making the iPod Even More Indispensible


Okay, I've never spent $70 on a sex toy before, but I'll do it. Don't make me. But here's the thing: Not only do I want the OhMiBod, I also want the awesome (albeit rather useless) garter to go with it. (Via NOTCOT.)

Wiitlemania

Yeah, I know Wii-themed stuff should be getting old by now, but it's not. So, what happens when you cross the Beatles with the Wii? This shirt. (Via Tcritic.)

Feb 20, 2007

Brainium, Borax, and Abominable Cavity

I'm not sure if these malapropisms and other bloopers should crack me up so thorougly, but whenever I read such things I inevitably wind up laughing till I cry. I mean, come on: "John Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained." Classic.

Feb 16, 2007

Fugly Footwear

As much as I enjoy perusing Shoewawa, let's face it: There simply isn't enough time in the world for them to wail and beat their breasts over all the ugly shoes polluting the planet. They do their part, though. However, I absolutely must share a few particularly revolting pair with you all.

For those of you (you know who you are, Genie) who actually like such things, here's the latest in anile white loafery/moccasiny/oxfordy things (Anthropologie's Garden Trainers):

Meanwhile, these monstrosities are what happens when bored Jersey Mafia wives get hold of a BeDazzler and some stiletto boots (Iron Maiden, by Penny Loves Kenny):

Spanking the Kitty

I've heard of spanking the monkey, but this is ridiculous. If you only watch two cat spanking videos this year, watch these:

The Official Cookie Cake of Baby Back Shrimp Day

Ah yes. Thus we celebrated Baby Back Shrimp Day.

And the celebration continues...

Feb 15, 2007

Pilotless Drone Guy Strikes Again

Oh jeebus. He's baaack. This time he's pissed about guitars in prison. And I think he means garrote, not grout. Big difference, buddy.

Feb 14, 2007

Happy V-Day! (Or Happy BBS-Day!)

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Or, if you're in certain parts of the world (okay, my apartment in Berkeley), happy Baby Back Shrimp Day!

Now go read this article on red velvet cake. Mmm, sexy, sexy red velvet cake. Damn. I miss Mama Duke's in Brooklyn.

Feb 13, 2007

Chocobribery

Yes, chocobribery. It's a word I coined yesterday (in an apparent fit of brilliance).

chocobribery n — The tactic of using chocolate as a motivator, especially when dealing with women. Also effective on but potentially fatal to dogs.

If Your Valentine Hearts Hearts...

Celebrate Valentine's Day with Krispy Kreme's heart-shaped donuts.

Or pick up one of these cute pixelated love duffel bags. Hell, while you're tootling around fred flare, pick up these sunglasses and this necklace, which will particularly appeal to devotees of The Wizard of Oz. (If you don't know why, you haven't watched the movie enough.)

If you want to give a gift that's awesomely sexy, yet not Frederick's of Hollywood–trashy, opt for these adorably retro Sailor Jerry garter undies.

Should you feel like dropping a load o'cash, this necklace is one of the few heart-shaped pieces of jewelry I actually condone. It's so big, so elaborate, so...loopy that it manages to avoid being cloying. This lariat is less of a statement piece, but still rather fresh and sweet.

On the other hand, if petite (and geeky) is more your style, you might consider this necklace.

Or, for your favorite lush, here's a cute little (though probably overpriced) heart-shaped keychain flask.

A Kaffiyeh Kerfuffle

Unfuckingbelievable. Hipster asshats and their willful cluelessness. Don't question these things; they're fashionable! Until...they're not.

Feb 9, 2007

For a Risqué Holiday

No. As I said last year, no fuzzy handcuffs or heart-print boxers. Still, you can go the slightly racy route without resorting to tack.

Want to make your intentions blatant? Go for the self-explanatory sleep/fuck eye mask.

For something marginally subtler (but likely more useful), choose one of these French lesson panties. (I know the site calls it a panty, but please—they're panties. You don't have a pant, you have pants. Some things are just meant to be plural.) If you really feel like splurging, get the whole set.

Something that I've always wanted and have never gotten around to buying for myself is a pair of marabou bedroom mules. 'Course I'm sure they'd look just fetching with my baggy pj pants or flannel nightie and long johns. (Well, sometimes I get cold. Shut up.)

Now, if you're really rolling in the dough, buy this obscenely expensive Gift of Burlesque set for your gal (or, if you are said gal, for yourself). Of course, you'd have to be comfortable enough to put the toybox to use...maybe a bottle or two of Champagne would help. Get some of that, too.

Yess Preciouss, We'll Ssnuggle Forevers

In honor of both my anniversary (today) and Valentine's Day (the 14th, obvs), I present the lovers. How morbidly sweet.

Feb 8, 2007

Dork Out With Your Pork Out


Well, as I learned from this Kotaku interview, Whorelore(formerly World of Whorecraft, but, understandably, Blizzard had an itty-bitty problem with that title) is now up and running. (Thanks for the heads-up, Zack.) On a related note, check out one of the funniest/dorkiest T-shirts ever.

In a similar vein, if you want to ogle some Warcrafty chicks without paying to download, why don't you take the free tour of Bare Maidens? Pretty funny. Totally NSFW, natch. (Thanks Genie!)

The Genital Phase


So, I ask you, how the hell did I miss this brilliance? I'd seen the shirt, but didn't know to what it referred.

In other news, The Hoohaa Monologues? Give me an effing break.

Keepin' It Real, Valentine-Style

For those who like to keep it real, try this necklace in gold or silver. Also, either would make a good present for a female cardiologist.

Feb 7, 2007

Champagne Chairs and Caviar Dreams


You only have two days left to vote for your favorite Champagne chair. I, personally, am torn between the Copenhagen Rockegg and the odd Essie SexyBack Chair. And now I'm totally inspired to enter next year's competition.

Feb 6, 2007

Some Robots Have Enough RAM to Love


Aww. Peep these cute robot mini-Valentines from WHiRR. I especially like the sentiment, "You've downloaded my heart."

Steve Jobs, Rest of World, Says DRM is a Sham

Damn straight. About bloody time that someone's officially acknowledging that DRM is a sham. Good for you, Steve Jobs. Now just make it so that other users on an iTunes network can listen to their peers' downloaded music rather than have a message pop up saying that I don't have proper authorization. Authorization my ass.
Now look what's happened. I've gone and gotten all worked up. Make it work, Stevieboy.

Feb 5, 2007

The Food of Love

If you want some breakfast food of love, try these super-simple heart-shaped fried eggs.
For what is obviously the dessert of love, why don't you whip up these decadent naughty ice cream sandwiches (made with Kahlua and dark chocolate brownies and Bailey's-spiked ice cream)?

Mmmm, lovelicious.

(Both of today's suggestions are brought to you by Cool Hunting.)

Feb 2, 2007

How About a Diamond Ring?


Yep, you could get your beloved a diamond ring for Valentine's Day, yet without worrying about engendering any sort of engagement ring–type confusion. I said a diamond ring (available in yellow, white, or lovely rose gold, or significantly more affordable silver)—but I didn't say it was made of diamond.

News From the Pleo Front


Bloody hell. Remember how I first posted about the afreakingdorable Pleo a year ago? Well, I've been following the trials and tribulations of our favorite elusive little dinosaur ever since. And now his release has been delayed again, plus he's going to be more expensive. Dammit.
The essay contest does seem like a good idea, though. Now I just have to think of something brilliant (and brief) to say about how robotic life forms will influence my life in the future.
Oh, incidentally, I meant to blog about this Wired article about Pleo ages ago, but forgot.

Bacon and Chips


Oy, yesterday was busy. Too busy for posting, in fact. But I shall make it up to you today, I swear.
First, amuse yourselves with this article about a potato-chip connoisseur from the Onion.
Then, since we're on a slight food theme, check out this undeniably bizarre yet strangely appealing bacon bracelet.
There. That should keep you occupied for a little while.