Mar 23, 2012
So I read a fabulous review the other day—which is not to suggest it was in any way complimentary. Its genius lies in what appears to be a well-deserved evisceration of the product in question, which sounds like a vile whiskey-flavored vodka marketed exclusively to hipsters via nauseating ads. Ads that are guaranteed to turn off the very crowd they're striving to reach, given that most hipsters are a) already into whiskey and b) hate being marketed to. I think they're actually trying to reach bridge-and-tunnel clubgoers but perhaps aren't clear on the distinction. (FYI, the manufacturer apparently gets quite huffy if you call it a whiskey-flavored vodka, so it should be noted that it's technically a "spirit whiskey.")
Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that I heartily enjoyed reading the amusingly bitchy review...which reminded me of my all-time favorite print-based demolition, a review of "Dying in Stereo" by the blessedly defunct band Northern State. It comes via Pitchfork, whose reviewers have never found an album they couldn't deride, so I'd normally advise you to take it with a shaker of salt—except in this case every bit of venom and disdain is justified. I endured the experience of watching Northern State perform live when they opened for the excellent Tegan and Sara in '05 or '06 (why, Tegan and Sara, why?), and it was painful. Painful to the point of hilarious and then back around to painful. Reading the review will be a lot more fun than seeing the live show, I guarantee you.
As a final inclusion on my list of gleefully condemnatory reviews, let's return to Sex and the City 2. I know I already linked to an assortment of appalled reactions a while back (full disclosure: I've never seen it, have no desire to see it, found every one of the, say, four episodes I've ever watched to be utterly painful), but I neglected to link to the Wittertainment podcast review, which features one of Mark Kermode's legendary rants. (According to a reader who once wrote into the Wittertainment crew, Kermode's review of Angels and Demons was so vociferous that it roused someone from a coma. Not entirely sure I believe it, but it was entertainingly derisive anyway.)
It's absolutely worth watching the whole diatribe (which he prefaces by saying he's not going to rant—hah!), but it ramps up into a triumph of righteous anger and disgust from about 9:00 through the end. Here you go:
Happy reading, watching, listening, drinking, etc.