Guys and (Sex) Dolls

Now you might start to think I'm a bit obsessed with RealDolls, but I'm not, really. I admire all the work that goes into them (seriously, each one is a work of art), and I'm simultaneously fascinated and repelled by the men who own them. (I also tend to think of RealDolls as giant Barbies. With orifices.)

Anyway, my point was that, if you have a bit of spare time, check out this British documentary, Guys and Dolls, about RealDolls and the men who love (and love) them. It's sad and a bit scary how many of the guys treat the dolls as though they're sentient beings. And it's also a bit upsetting how...well, forlorn some of the dolls look. Definitely worth a look, though.

Also, I think it contains the best line ever: "Shit. And I'm running out of vaginas."

If I Could Turn Back Time...Oh, If Only!

Excuse me while I rub my temples and try to decide whether this is fabulously kitschy or sort of tragic. Probably a bit of both. I think I may need to own it. Anyway, brace yourself for the schlock and awe of '80s Cher Barbie.

Yeah, that's her infamous "If I Could Turn Back Time" ensemble. Which leads to my next point: Have you watched that video lately? Ever? Well, it's about time you do. Seriously. Go. Now. Watch.

After re-watching the video earlier today, I realized that I'd entirely forgotten (no, not Cher's assless...well, ass) that her son Elijah Blue plays guitar in the video. That must have been an experience, watching your mom hump cannons and gyrate in a glorified thong. Bet that one led to some great "your mom" jokes.

And, to further complete our journey into the bizarre, here's Meg Griffin's version from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. (Anyone else think it sounds like Rachael MacFarlane singing? Intentionally crappily, natch.)

In conclusion, we now know what would happen if Cher could turn back time. She would be Barbie.