Christmastime Horrors

Am still on holiday vacay, hence the lack of posts. If you celebrate Christmas, I hope it was just lovely. Now prepare to claw out your eyes while simultaneously clutching your sides from laughter. Gah!

Green Giant

No, I'm not just referring to the color of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree—this year it'll be strung with 30,000 LEDs to make for a more energy-efficient holiday season. It's a start....

Ho Ho No

Surely this is a joke: Some Australian Santa Clauses have been told to say "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho," as the latter may be offensive to women. You've got to be freaking kidding me. The only way I'd take offense is if Santa pointed at me and said, "Bitch, you're a ho ho ho." And even then I'd probably forgive him if he gave me some really good presents.

Recombobulation

Returned from a mini-vacation on Sunday and have totally not recombobulated myself yet. Just yesterday I thought to myself, "Ooh, it's nearly time to start the Holiday Gift Guide! But not until November." I then realized that it was already November 5th. So I guess I'd better get in gear. How else will you know what you want for Christmas?

While I start sorting through the present possibilities, dividing the covetable from the craptastic, you get to watch this: the worst way to learn English ever.

I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas

How to have an environmentally friendly Christmas has never been a particular concern of mine. To be frank, I've never even considered it before. But after reading this informative Slate article, I have resolved to be more aware of the holiday decisions I make and their consequences. Some of their suggestions are very easy to follow—I already combine shipping as much as possible, for example. Not only does it save on fuel, it saves me kizash. I'll buy some LED light strands this year and stay away from sparkly wrapping paper (well, as much as possible). Fortunately, I've been inadvertently green for years now thanks to my entire family's practice of reusing gift bags and Mylar wrap/tissue paper as long as possible. (Seriously, we have to coerce my grandmother into finally ditching a piece of Mylar that's wrinkled beyond recognition.) Other Slate suggestions, such as using Sellotape, are good, but pretty hard to follow. No problem if you're in the U.K., but here in the U.S. there is Scotch tape and knockoff Scotch tape and that's it. Good luck finding Sellotape. Though Berkeley is just crunchy enough that I may be able to scrounge up some. I'll have to check.