New in Ill Thought-Out Photo Spreads

Hm. I can't imagine why some people are upset about this Vogue Italia "Make Love Not War" photo spread. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but this turns my stomach. It features women cavorting with soldiers in what I'd imagine is supposed to be Iraq. In some shots the women look like hookers (e.g., the one where one of the models is straddling a soldier while another soldier films her), in others they look like victims of rape or at least violence (e.g., the shot where a soldier's holding a model by her neck, or the picture of what looks like a soldier pinning a model in the mud). I don't know; it just seems like there's no right way to photograph a scenario like this. In shots where the models and the soldiers are laughing and apparently enjoying themselves, it looks like they're taking the situation too lightly. In the more serious shots, it looks like the women are being victimized. The whole thing is just tasteless. I think that's what it boils down to.

On a slightly different topic, I wonder if those are real soldiers or male models, because they're uniformly gorgeous. (Well, I wouldn't want to end on a depressing note.)

The Louboutin Manicure

Continuing with the girliness, I present you with the Louboutin manicure: black on top, red underneath. I know it's sorta silly, but I love it! And not only because I have a major Louboutin hard-on. (Not because of the brand status, but because they're consistently gorgeous shoes.) Sadly, I cannot afford even one little pair. So perhaps I could just give myself a Louboutin manicure instead...if I ever manage to grow my nails long again. (I'm a compulsive filer.)

The Best of Fashion Week (Spring 2008)

Yeah, strap in; it's a long ride. I've selected six of my favorites (I forced myself to choose only one per designer or the list would have gone on indefinitely), excluding the Naeem Khan collection, which I already blogged about. Without further ado, here they are:

Next time I'm invited to a ball, I'm hitting up Marchesa.

Betsey Johnson is a perennial favorite; it was so hard to choose only one dress from her '80s prom–themed collection.

I love how simultaneously punky and classy Anna Sui's ensembles were.

You can't go wrong with Oscar de la Renta, can you?

I was impressed by the lovely simplicity of the fabrics and jewel tones in Reem Acra's collection.

And, finally, I want this adorable dress by Tracy Reese, as I could actually wear it (and not just to a grand gala).

The Fabulous Fashion of Naeem Khan

Despite finding the most recent Fashion Week offerings by and large quite blah, I have been impressed by a few designers. Will show my personal faves at the end of the week, I suppose. One collection that I particularly liked (and had no previous opinion about) was that by Naeem Khan. (Yeah, I didn't know who he was either.) The collection seemed to be a nice blend of mod and Indian influences and, aside from a few rather mumsy missteps, was consistently appealing. One major qualm, though: I loathe the way the models' hair has been done. Dreadful and frumpy. Here, have a gander:

A cute, heavily embroidered ladies-who-lunch ensemble:

Sort of caftany, sort of fabulous:

A mod little mini:

Totally gorgeous and elegant:

Ow, My Freaking Eyes!

In honor of the fact that practically everyone is getting married right now (one coworker this weekend, my former boss next weekend, my current boss...okay, in November, another coworker a few months ago, my uncle at some point in the near future, my ex-roommate's brother soon, and another friend has been a bridesmaid twice over the summer), I present you with the Top Ten Ugliest Bridesmaids' Dresses, as compiled by People magazine. And there are some stunners, believe you me.

Fall(ing) Fashion

Ugh. I'm sick and can't even be properly miserable, as things are busy at work and I have to be there (and work long, long hours). Today I showed up in one of my least fashionable ensembles: jeans, Chuck Taylors, and a Rainbow Brite hoodie. Schlumpy, but comfy.

On the other end of the sartorial spectrum, Fall Fashion Week is about to begin. Let's kick off with a look at the Top Five Runway Falls. Hm. That must be the top five most recent runway falls, as the list omits Naomi Campbell's spectacular 1993 topple from those infamous Vivienne Westwood platforms.

And, for the pièce de résistance, watch the clip below for more model-falling hilarity.

Where My Time Goes

Yeah, so I have no interest in this whole blogging thing at the moment. I've been totally consumed by two things:

1) The audiobook of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
2) Polyvore

Allow me to explain about Polyvore. It's a site where you essentially play dress-up with photos of actual clothes, shoes, jewelry, and other accessories, some designer, some not. I figured it'd be a mild diversion; I was wrong. It's a total timesuck.

Thank god I haven't had any, you know, work to do.

Not Dirtty—Try Despicable

I'm sorry, but this is fucked up. First of all, doggy fashion is a bit retarded any way you look at it. Some ensembles are too ridiculous to not find endearing (e.g., the sequined lavender leg warmers I bought for my grandmother's poodle), but let's face it—dog outfits are just tiny travesties. Putting a grill (jesus, I can't even type the word without wanting to put air quotes around it—I hate those things) on a dog is horrendous. It's bad enough that most pit bulls have to wear muzzles; why blingify the muzzle and turn what should be a negative (the fact that your dog is required to be muzzled) and masquerade it as a positive attribute (your dog is all ferocious and ghetto-fabulous)? I don't like the glorification of violence (not to mention conspicuous consumption), and this is precisely what Dirtty Bones does. To dogs who, no matter how fierce, can't fight against horrid and demeaning wardrobe choices.

New from the Department of Ridiculous Accessories

Okay, these sequined-ball bracelets are ridiculous but sorta rad. The high-heeled flippers, though? Sheer retardation.

Simpsons Couture

You know, I really didn't think I was all that excited about the upcoming Simpsons movie, but I guess I am. I keep jonesing for more Simpsons goodness—I even stole a Squishee cup from a local 7-Eleven. (Well, I wanted the cup, but I didn't actually feel like drinking a Squishee. Besides, how could I save the cup if it were all sticky? Whatever. It's a paper cup. Don't judge me.)

Anyway, there's an adorable spread in Harper's Bazaar depicting the Simpsons on a whirlwind tour of the fashion houses of Paris (with Linda Evangelista as their guide). Very cute. Love Homer as Karl Lagerfeld. And Marge looks pretty hot, I must say. If you have no idea what's going on, here's a handy guide to reality vs. its Simpsonified counterpart.

Cherokee, Marching Down the Trail of Tears

Yeah, I know it's a dreadful Europe song, but it's so horrible that it's awesome. And I would have it stuck in my head all day if I wore this hoodie. Seriously, though, the hoodie's amazing—a great shape and funky headdress detail. Unfortunately, it's also $236, so I don't suppose I'll be picking one up any time soon. (Via Popgloss.)

To Wear and Carry (But Not Together)

Just wanted to share two recent discoveries, unrelated except for their shared awesomeness.

First is this cool, comfy lobster-print dress. If I had this dress, I truly would be the lobster queen. (That's a tastier version of the Lizard King.)

Next is this boombox briefcase, which is totally rad in a slightly dorky, '80s way.

Adorably Vulgar

I love these shirts. So delicate and feminine and cute...yet so horribly vulgar. How me. I'm not as crazy about the jewelry, but I do like the Petite Salope necklace.

The Best of the Worst (2007 Fashion Shows)

Every year I find some ghastly offerings for my viewing pleasure in New York magazine's fashion week(s) section; this year was no different. Here are just a few highlights:

From Giles Deacon:

Yeah, so when did flinging a sheepskin on a model become haute couture?

From Brian Reyes:

The clothes—not so bad. Ugly, but not a travesty. The dead beaver on the model's head—ew. Totally kicks it up a notch from ugly to fugly.

From Luca Luca:

Okay, in this case I don't suppose I can really blame the designers. The model looks otherworldly. And by otherworldly I don't mean ethereal. I mean unearthly. Alien. Yes. She looks like a freaking space alien. Honey, it's time to phone home. Your Martian parents are worried about you. And they wish you'd eat a little something.

A Kaffiyeh Kerfuffle

Unfuckingbelievable. Hipster asshats and their willful cluelessness. Don't question these things; they're fashionable! Until...they're not.