Truly Scary

If you're ready for some good old-fashioned Halloween frights, check out the most recent Cat and Girl. Talk about chilling.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I wonder where this little girl is learning her vocab....
"

Mad Mousepad

Have been insanely busy. Sore, crampy, headachy, and busy. Was even in the office on Sunday (blech!). Haven't had time to post. And am still busy. But not too busy to show you the most awesome (and by awesome I mean ridiculous) mousepad ever.

Damp Cats: Not a Euphemism

Today's cuteness is brought to you by Damp Cats.

They're cats.
They're wet.
And they're mad as hell.

And, in their anger, they're adorable.

In Soviet Russia, Blog Posts You!

How much more awesomeness can possibly be encapsulated in one image? The following image (courtesy of LOLPresidents.com) contains both a lolcatism (lolcatechism?) and a Russian reversal.

(Oh, and, if you don't know what the painting depicts, it's the 1917 murder of the Russian royal family by the Bolsheviks at Yekaterinburg.)

The New Guy

I have a bit of vacation coming up (entertaining visiting relatives), so posting shall be spotty or nonexistent for the rest of the week. For a good giggle, have a comic.

Jabba the Catt

I know it's been out since yesterday, but this has gotta be one of the funniest lolcats ever. And I'm impressed: Wookiee is spelled correctly. (Most people forget the second e.)

The Wit and Wisdom of T-Pain

And just when I'd thought society was sadly lacking in a modern equivalent of Shakespeare, I discover T-Pain. I think I'm in love—no homo. Do yourself a vast favor and watch both clips. And have a draaaank handy.

Simpsons Couture

You know, I really didn't think I was all that excited about the upcoming Simpsons movie, but I guess I am. I keep jonesing for more Simpsons goodness—I even stole a Squishee cup from a local 7-Eleven. (Well, I wanted the cup, but I didn't actually feel like drinking a Squishee. Besides, how could I save the cup if it were all sticky? Whatever. It's a paper cup. Don't judge me.)

Anyway, there's an adorable spread in Harper's Bazaar depicting the Simpsons on a whirlwind tour of the fashion houses of Paris (with Linda Evangelista as their guide). Very cute. Love Homer as Karl Lagerfeld. And Marge looks pretty hot, I must say. If you have no idea what's going on, here's a handy guide to reality vs. its Simpsonified counterpart.

A Very Special Post

I've been a) away, b) busy at work, and c) entertaining friends, hence the lack of posts. To atone for my disappearance, I present to you the greatest supernatural-mystery-hospital-drama show ever: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It was sadly short-lived, but that does mean that it's much more manageable to watch in chunks on YouTube. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are the segments in order. (Thanks, Jenn! Really, thank you.)

Episode 1, Part 1
Episode 1, Part 2
Episode 1, Part 3
Episode 2
Episode 3, Part 1
Episode 3, Part 2
Episode 3, Part 3
Episode 4, Part 1
Episode 4, Part 2
Episode 4, Part 3
Episode 5, Part 1
Episode 5, Part 2
Episode 5, Part 3
Episode 6, Part 1
Episode 6, Part 2
Episode 6, Part 3

If I Only Had a Braaaain

Meant to post this, oh, a week ago. But I've been busy and forgetful. Anyway, I've always been a sucker for all things Wizard of Oz. Especially if they're funny. (Yeah, I owned an Air Dorothy—"It's gotta be da shoes!" tee back in the day.) So I greatly appreciate this shirt. I think I may need one. How often do you get to combine zombies and The Wizard of Oz in one shirt? (Via the always-excellent Tcritic.)

Dick Cheney, Highlander?

Surely everyone knows the about the whole rigmarole about Dick Cheney, the, um, vice president, not being a part of the executive branch. I don't need to comment on that. Why would I? Jon Stewart has done so much more eloquently than I could. Just go watch.

Small But Deadly

Never underestimate the little guys, what with their teeny tiny nuclear bombs.

Oh, and I've gotta say that I just love the Liechtenstein Nuclear Research Facility. The Onion rocks.

JFK Gets the Washington Treatment

From the genius (Brad Neely) behind George Washington comes a most excellent follow-up: Professor Brothers present History Lesson #1. The new subject? JFK, motherfuckers. (Thanks Afshin!)

I CAN HAS PREZIDENTIAL CHEEZBURGER.

What would I have ever done with my time had I not discovered lolpresidents? The offerings in the Fark contest are uneven (though some are quite high-larious), but this site is comedic gold. Thanks Boing Boing!

The IHOP Reformation

I think the headline says it all: Modern-Day Martin Luther Nails 95 Comment Cards to IHOP Door.

THEY'RE IN UR SLATE TAKING OVER UR NEWS

Okay, it's official. Lolcats have taken over the world. See this Slate article for further proof.

Pity the Kitties

I know, I know. The whole "IM IN UR [noun] [verb]ING UR [other nouns]" thing has been done to death. Yet it still amuses me. Perhaps that's why I so enjoy this comic.

Heh.

Boogying Bush Bangs a Bongo

Pretty snifty alliteration, huh? Huh? Yeah, so Bush does a little dance, plays a little drum, and generally gets down for malaria.

See, you may think that there isn't much for him to dance about these days, but you'd be wrong. Our fearless leader has devised a foolproof new plan, ready for implementation in Iraq: He's sending in the security kitties.

Trifles for Your Amusement

As I'm taking a comp day tomorrow, I'm in rather a good mood. Thus I have decided to spread joy throughout the Intertubes.

Yes, I know that this letter is a hoax, but I don't care. It's still funny.

Now watch this lazy-ass cat.

That's all for now. I'ma go enjoy my three-day weekend.

Also Hilarious: Anne Frank

See? I've said it before and I'll say it again: Helen Keller jokes are funny.

Curious George and the Man Behind the Shrub

It's a Bush/Cheney twofer today.

If you watch only one creepy, creepy video this year, make it this one. It's a cinematic tour de force on the part of the cameraman.
Oh, and "Pay no attention to that man behind the shrubbery" may be the best comment ever.

On a less eerie note, have a giggle at the tale of Curious George and the banister.

Two Bads Can Equal a Good

What happens when you combine two things I don't like, Alanis Morissette and the loathsome Black Eyed Peas song "My Humps"? You get this surprisingly funny video.

Washington as You've Never Seen Him

I'm not even sure how to preface this. Don't drink anything while watching it. And pity the poor British children. (Thanks, Christophe.)

Revenge of the Sith, Abridged and Improved

I don't suppose I should still find Star Wars prequel-related humor so damn funny, but I do. The prequels--hell, let's be honest, the whole series--is a comedic goldmine. The latest contribution to the treasure trove is this script, an abridged and heavily rewritten version of Revenge of the Sith. It's sheer genius.

Worst. Star Wars Conversation. Ever.

Make sure you've recently hit the bathroom before reading this last entry-- I nearly wet myself this morning.

Interestingly, she managed to report the plot fairly accurately. What does that tell us about George Lucas?

Make It Stop

For the last goddamn time, get a clue from the Star Wars kid and do not tape yourself practicing with a stick for a light saber. Here's a clip of yet another asshat, this time a grown man, playing with a stick. Just try to look away from the jiggling belly fat—it's mesmerizing.

Meet Cuke Skywalker, Ham Solo, Obi-Wan Cannoli and the Gang

"That giant fruit threatens us all."

That may be one of the best lines I've heard in a damn long time. Anyway, here is Grocery Store Wars. Watch it if you're a Star Wars geek. Watch it if you're an organic produce dork. Oh, just watch it.