The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World

Okay, I'm not sure these are the 25 most baffling toys ever, but they're certainly on the list. Needless to say, don't buy them for any impressionable children. I can think of a few adults who might appreciate them, but only ironically, like how most of us enjoy Journey.

Sinfully Sweet

Ah, it's always fun to take a quick perusal of Etsy. Sure, there's a lot of godawful stuff (crocheted Barbie dresses, anyone?), but sometimes there are some real gems. Today's discovery is SweetHeartSinner, who sells handmade business card/cigarette cases and necklaces. Very cute, not to mention mercifully affordable. Will ultimately have to see a piece or two in person to verify the quality, but they look quite professional. Some of these little baubles would make excellent gifts.

When the Paper is the Present

How sad is it that I'm getting all excited about wrapping paper? Not even a gift-type item, but the paper in which it may be wrapped. I know, I'm easily entertained, especially by shiny things. So next time you plan on giving me a present, could you please wrap it in one of these lovely chandelier-print papers?

For a Risqué Holiday

No. As I said last year, no fuzzy handcuffs or heart-print boxers. Still, you can go the slightly racy route without resorting to tack.

Want to make your intentions blatant? Go for the self-explanatory sleep/fuck eye mask.

For something marginally subtler (but likely more useful), choose one of these French lesson panties. (I know the site calls it a panty, but please—they're panties. You don't have a pant, you have pants. Some things are just meant to be plural.) If you really feel like splurging, get the whole set.

Something that I've always wanted and have never gotten around to buying for myself is a pair of marabou bedroom mules. 'Course I'm sure they'd look just fetching with my baggy pj pants or flannel nightie and long johns. (Well, sometimes I get cold. Shut up.)

Now, if you're really rolling in the dough, buy this obscenely expensive Gift of Burlesque set for your gal (or, if you are said gal, for yourself). Of course, you'd have to be comfortable enough to put the toybox to use...maybe a bottle or two of Champagne would help. Get some of that, too.

For Your Pie-Hole

Okay, as it's the day before Thanksgiving, I'm starting to feel a bit festive. I think I shall begin the annual holiday gift guide in earnest on Monday. But here's one little suggestion in advance:

For anyone with a pronounced sweet tooth and an undying love of both pie and chocolate, the Godiva American Pies Collection is definitely the way to go. It's not cheap, but what is?

Happy Toikey Day (in advance).