For Your Amusement

Know how I have an unnatural love for the song "Rock Lobster"? Yeah, well, so does this guy:


Now here's another funny video that fans of The Simpsons will definitely want to check out. It's Hank Azaria talking about some of the many (many) voices he does for the series.

My Goodness, My Guinness!

Boy, Guinness adverts have come a long way since that toucan balanced a beer on his beak. Check it out.

Recombobulation

Returned from a mini-vacation on Sunday and have totally not recombobulated myself yet. Just yesterday I thought to myself, "Ooh, it's nearly time to start the Holiday Gift Guide! But not until November." I then realized that it was already November 5th. So I guess I'd better get in gear. How else will you know what you want for Christmas?

While I start sorting through the present possibilities, dividing the covetable from the craptastic, you get to watch this: the worst way to learn English ever.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I wonder where this little girl is learning her vocab....
"

Making TV Palatable: the Family Guy Crew

The Emmys apparently just took place. I missed it. Oops. That's what happens when you don't have a TV. However, it was, I repeat, the Emmys, so I don't actually care. I perused the dresses online later, so I got the important stuff taken care of. However, I did miss one worthwhile bit: the vocal stylings of Stewie and Brian. So here you go.

Oh, all right. Just for the hell of it, I'll throw in Peter's rendition of "Rock Lobster," too. 'Cause I'm all giving like that.

Shadows on the Wall

Whoa. I've always found shadow puppets kinda cool, but this is incredible. The best I can ever manage is a reasonable duck and a lopsided bunny.

The Wit and Wisdom of T-Pain

And just when I'd thought society was sadly lacking in a modern equivalent of Shakespeare, I discover T-Pain. I think I'm in love—no homo. Do yourself a vast favor and watch both clips. And have a draaaank handy.

Never Trust Robots

It's a good bit of advice, no? Thanks to Boing Boing, I just today discovered the video for the classic Andrew Thompson song, "We're in Business."

Totally Daft

Chances are you've seen one or both of these videos before. If not, you need to watch them. The girl is god on a stick—she's just awesomely adorable and funky and talented. And she's not pulling the traditional sexpot routine, which is genuinely refreshing and makes her even cooler.

The hands...well, the video starts off slowly, but trust me—it gets better. Amazing even.

Oh, as a bonus, you can check out the slow version to see the chick's moves in slow-mo (a.k.a. real time).

Now I have the strange urge to own some Daft Punk. Huh.

Guys and (Sex) Dolls

Now you might start to think I'm a bit obsessed with RealDolls, but I'm not, really. I admire all the work that goes into them (seriously, each one is a work of art), and I'm simultaneously fascinated and repelled by the men who own them. (I also tend to think of RealDolls as giant Barbies. With orifices.)

Anyway, my point was that, if you have a bit of spare time, check out this British documentary, Guys and Dolls, about RealDolls and the men who love (and love) them. It's sad and a bit scary how many of the guys treat the dolls as though they're sentient beings. And it's also a bit upsetting how...well, forlorn some of the dolls look. Definitely worth a look, though.

Also, I think it contains the best line ever: "Shit. And I'm running out of vaginas."

A Very Special Post

I've been a) away, b) busy at work, and c) entertaining friends, hence the lack of posts. To atone for my disappearance, I present to you the greatest supernatural-mystery-hospital-drama show ever: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It was sadly short-lived, but that does mean that it's much more manageable to watch in chunks on YouTube. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are the segments in order. (Thanks, Jenn! Really, thank you.)

Episode 1, Part 1
Episode 1, Part 2
Episode 1, Part 3
Episode 2
Episode 3, Part 1
Episode 3, Part 2
Episode 3, Part 3
Episode 4, Part 1
Episode 4, Part 2
Episode 4, Part 3
Episode 5, Part 1
Episode 5, Part 2
Episode 5, Part 3
Episode 6, Part 1
Episode 6, Part 2
Episode 6, Part 3

Lily Allen, Jessica Rabbit, and Blogmusik

Yeah, I know it's been out for a while, but I'm still rather taken with this Mark Ronson/Lily Allen collaboration. Lily Allen by way of Jessica Rabbit is pretty freaking awesome. See?

Speaking of Lily Allen, I recently realized that her music rocks. She's like a girly version of The Streets. However, as I don't currently own her album, I've been making do by listening to it here. It's a good system (the whole streaming audio on demand idea), but the content is a bit spotty. Still, it's a good idea and awfully useful when you want to listen to music that you haven't gotten around to buying yet. (Yes, I buy my music.)

Small But Deadly

Never underestimate the little guys, what with their teeny tiny nuclear bombs.

Oh, and I've gotta say that I just love the Liechtenstein Nuclear Research Facility. The Onion rocks.

If I Could Turn Back Time...Oh, If Only!

Excuse me while I rub my temples and try to decide whether this is fabulously kitschy or sort of tragic. Probably a bit of both. I think I may need to own it. Anyway, brace yourself for the schlock and awe of '80s Cher Barbie.

Yeah, that's her infamous "If I Could Turn Back Time" ensemble. Which leads to my next point: Have you watched that video lately? Ever? Well, it's about time you do. Seriously. Go. Now. Watch.

After re-watching the video earlier today, I realized that I'd entirely forgotten (no, not Cher's assless...well, ass) that her son Elijah Blue plays guitar in the video. That must have been an experience, watching your mom hump cannons and gyrate in a glorified thong. Bet that one led to some great "your mom" jokes.

And, to further complete our journey into the bizarre, here's Meg Griffin's version from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. (Anyone else think it sounds like Rachael MacFarlane singing? Intentionally crappily, natch.)

In conclusion, we now know what would happen if Cher could turn back time. She would be Barbie.

JFK Gets the Washington Treatment

From the genius (Brad Neely) behind George Washington comes a most excellent follow-up: Professor Brothers present History Lesson #1. The new subject? JFK, motherfuckers. (Thanks Afshin!)

Make Me Fries

Prepare to wet yourself. Check out this captioned video of Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter." The captions sound spot-on to me. Thanks Zack!

It's a Boontjeful World

Ever since I first saw a photo of Tord Boontje's gorgeous Swarovski blossom chandeliers, I've been completely besotted. Here's a chance to find out a bit more about the man himself. Okay, only a teeny bit, but watching the video has now whetted my appetite for the book.

Boogying Bush Bangs a Bongo

Pretty snifty alliteration, huh? Huh? Yeah, so Bush does a little dance, plays a little drum, and generally gets down for malaria.

See, you may think that there isn't much for him to dance about these days, but you'd be wrong. Our fearless leader has devised a foolproof new plan, ready for implementation in Iraq: He's sending in the security kitties.

Trifles for Your Amusement

As I'm taking a comp day tomorrow, I'm in rather a good mood. Thus I have decided to spread joy throughout the Intertubes.

Yes, I know that this letter is a hoax, but I don't care. It's still funny.

Now watch this lazy-ass cat.

That's all for now. I'ma go enjoy my three-day weekend.

Two Bads Can Equal a Good

What happens when you combine two things I don't like, Alanis Morissette and the loathsome Black Eyed Peas song "My Humps"? You get this surprisingly funny video.

Baby Sloth Preciousness

Awww, the cuteness is ridiculous! Check out this video of a baby sloth. What with the peekies and the stretchies and the yawnies, he's...just...so...tired. (Thanks Genie!)

Washington as You've Never Seen Him

I'm not even sure how to preface this. Don't drink anything while watching it. And pity the poor British children. (Thanks, Christophe.)

Make It Stop

For the last goddamn time, get a clue from the Star Wars kid and do not tape yourself practicing with a stick for a light saber. Here's a clip of yet another asshat, this time a grown man, playing with a stick. Just try to look away from the jiggling belly fat—it's mesmerizing.

Meet Cuke Skywalker, Ham Solo, Obi-Wan Cannoli and the Gang

"That giant fruit threatens us all."

That may be one of the best lines I've heard in a damn long time. Anyway, here is Grocery Store Wars. Watch it if you're a Star Wars geek. Watch it if you're an organic produce dork. Oh, just watch it.

I. Would. Kill.

If I were this girl, I would disembowel my boyfriend. (Looks NSFW, but it's fine.)

Distractions and Diversions

What ever would I do without ebaumsworld? Here are some choice selections for your viewing pleasure:

I've had this catchy little number stuck in my head for a week now. I think everyone's sorry, because I tend to burst into song and dance without the slightest provocation. I'm a kitty cat, bitch.

This kid is already on his way to becoming an icon, much like Star Wars boy.

Finally, for when you have a free nine-minute block of time, this short is hysterical. It defies description.

I promise to post something else not lifted from ebaumsworld later. I'll be away for the weekend, so I wanted to keep everyone entertained in my absence.